W.L.T.M.

Hey, ‘ow yoo doin’?
You looking for a man who has everything?
Then I’m your guy.
I got it all baby – everything your heart desires.
Okay, I got a reputation and I admit it,
I can be a bit of an insomniac.
And it’s fair to say I was a bit rough back in the day,
but hey, I’ve cleaned up my act.
I’ve mellowed.

You want sophistication? I can do sophistication.
I got the Guggenheim, Carnegie, the Met –
not to be confused with the Mets.
They’re down in Queens.
I know, I know, I oughta be neutral,
but I gotta say, up in the Bronx,
Jetter and the boys put on a helluva show.
And you’ll even get a beer brought right to your seat.

Hungry? I got it covered.
Everything from fancy schmancy Russian Tea,
to hot dogs and pretzels on the street.
And shopping? I invented it!
If Bloomies don’t got it, Macy’s will.
You wanna show? I got ‘em all.
We’ll paint the town red baby on my Great White Way.

Hey, don’t worry if you got kids.
I’m cool with that.
I got a park, slap bang in the middle of town.
Man I’m tellin’ ya, it’s huge!
Even got a carousel and a zoo.
Come see me in December, we’ll go skating.

Sure, a few years back, things got nasty.
It was bad.
Dark, dark days.
Some said I was out for the count,
but I got a second opinion.
Word on the street?
I’d be okay.
Bowed, but not broken.
It left its mark, and I remember.
I’ll always remember.
But I’m resilient. I bounced back.
Bigger and brighter than ever.

Oh, I almost forgot.
I got this girl on the door,
she’ll welcome you in.
She’s French – very ‘Ooh la la’,
but she’s a helluva broad.
Don’t worry, her and me? Strictly platonic.

So come take a bite outta this big juicy apple.
I got everything you need baby.
Give me twenty four hours and I guarantee,
we’ll fall in love.