someone else happy

all these things you’ve done
to make someone else happy &
where are you in this picture?
spent so long trying to
secure your social position,
trying to mingle with the mass,
that you’re beginning to see
pieces of you, which you secretly,
honestly, liked,
break away, fly away, like
remnants of an old shed in a
tornado &
if you pay attention to yourself,
spend time with you alone,
they’ll say you’re “selfish”---
if you take some time for “me” &
fuck the rest, you’re written down
as a sociopath by the rest of the
herd,
but alas, the truth of the matter is
that when you are on your deathbed,
who will you have lived for?
just whose life will be ending?---
will any of those accusing faces of
the past be huddled around you
waiting on your will, waiting for
that last breath?
will they even let you die on your
own, or is that in fact
“you always thinking about
yourself before others?”