cruel restraint

wanting what cannot be had,
wanting to satisfy
raging desire,
wanting to throw it all to the
wind &
join the club with
id,
twisting & turning into
oblivion---
but consequentially,
the conscience comes
bearing down &
forces one into a place of
cruel restraint,
where the body is well aware
that the possibilities are
endless,
but the mind knows that
nothing is possible
without an aftermath
that well outweighs any
fun that could be had---
what would force one to
plummet down into
depths that they can
hardly imagine at this
point in time,
prior to what could be
described by an objective
onlooker as
self-destructive
behavior.