The New Nipple

He never thought much about it. It was just a spot that kept itching and getting bigger. It was on his back so he never saw it. But then his wife did and that’s when the trouble started.

“It looks like a nipple.”

“It’s just a spot!”

“Well it looks like a nipple to me.”

“It’s just one of those skin tag things, that’s all. I’ll go to the doctors and have it cut off.”

“Have you seen the size of it. He’ll need a chain saw to cut that bloody thing off. It’s huge. It definitely looks like a nipple.”

She handed him a make- up mirror. He held it up and looked at it in the full length mirror behind him. Even he was surprised at how much it had grown in the last few days. She was right. It did look like a nipple. She continued her sarcasm.

“It’s even dripping some kind of fluid. Like breast milk!”

“It’s just got an infection that’s all. I’ll go to the doctors first thing. Promise.”

“Make sure you do. I don’t like the look of this new nipple that you’re growing.”

She laughed and left the bathroom. He shouted after her.

“It’s not a nipple!”

He didn’t sleep well that night. His dreams were full of strange beasts all wanting to feed on his back. He woke lying on his front with his arse in the air and an itch between his shoulder blades that he so desperately wanted to scratch. He could feel his back was wet. Maybe the thing had burst in the night. He got up and went to the bathroom. He was naked and stood in front of the mirror, he turned, just enough to be able to see the gross monstrosity on his back. His wife was right, it did look like a huge dripping nipple.

He showered, dressed, left the house and was in the doctor’s waiting room by nine o’clock. He was aware that the back of his shirt was soaking wet. He heard his name called and went into room number two.

“Good morning Mister Wells, what can I do for you today?”

Doctor Collier was a middle aged, grey haired, boring man with no personality whatsoever.

“I’ve got this thing Doctor, on my back. Like a skin tag thing, or big spot and it itches and has now started to weep.”

As he spoke he was already removing his shirt.

The Doctor looked up from his desk.

“Jesus Christ!”

Doctor Collier couldn’t control himself.

“It’s huge man. Like a giant nipple!”

He felt his heart sink in to his pants. He was hoping for some kind of compassion or reassurance, not the reaction of an excited child.

“How long have you had this thing?”

“About two weeks, but it’s only the past few days that it’s grown to the size it is.”

He could feel the doctor mopping it with a tissue and saw the disgusted look on his face.

“It’s sticky and quite pungent."

He felt a stinging sensation and realised that Doctor Collier was pinching it with thumb and forefinger. A jet of warm liquid shot across the room and hit the laptop screen.

“Bloody hell man, this thing is lethal.”

He felt his temper starting to rise until he couldn’t control it. He slammed his fist onto the Doctors desk.

“It’s not exactly my fault is it? I mean, the bloody thing just grew on my back. I didn’t invite it, I didn’t wake up one morning and think to myself, I think I’ll have a giant nipple on my back complete with sticky warm fluid pouring out of it!.”

“Calm down Mister Wells, we don’t want to get all upset now do we. We’ll freeze it and lance it. All be over in a jiffy. Lay down on the bench over there and keep still.”

He did as he was told. Soon be over. Soon have the bloody thing out of his life forever.

The room went quiet. He had his eyes closed. He was suddenly aware of a weight on his back. He thought it was the doctor pressing down hard. He opened his eyes. The doctor was lying on the floor beside him. His throat cut with a scalpel.

He turned his neck to look behind him. He could hear a sucking noise. Something was feeding on him. On his new nipple.