(satire) Global warming

A man who does not know very much, spoke at length to a group of people whom did not really care, at length on a subject he knows very little about yesterday; causing a rush of panic amid the investment banking sector, as shares shot up inBrent Crude.
The Right Honorable MP for Bigoted Tory South Mr. Ohno It-isn't, -who also owns shares in BP Shell and Greed is good PLC-, spoke at length on climate change; suggesting that, instead of leading to rising sea levels, earthquakes and a threat to most species on this planet, especially humanity; Global warming could actually be good for business, and that it might both help with the faltering economy, and lead to further cuts to the benefit system. 

“People get very emotional about this subject" He began, "...I think we should simply distance ourselves a bit, take some time to think about what is going on and just accept that there is huge money to be made out of it, as well as a good reason to cut the welfare budget for the elderly."
“Remember..." He went on to say "...that for humans, the biggest cause of death is cold in winter,far bigger than heat in summer and an increase, though might be devastating for the some regions of the world, for others, -like My Vineyard in Kent- it would also lead to longer growing seasons, making me disgustingly rich as I flog my cheap plonk to the Bloody French."
he went on to conclude..."I think the relief of this latest report is that it shows a really quite modest increase [in temperatures], half of which has already happened. They are talking one to two-and-a-half degrees.” 
This, he implied, would lead to warmer weather and justify the removal of the winter fuel allowance. "After all, if its not cold, then why pay?" He went on to conclude, 
"To allow ourselves to be brainwashed by people who know what they are talking about, does not help solve the problem...There is only one solution to global warming, and that is to Deny, deny, deny!" 
His comments though greeted with huge cheers in a hall full of rodents determined not to leave a sinking ship, also caused a huge punch up in the scientific community this morning; as the far right group "belchitout" attacked the left wing vegan group "Biketheworld" in a car park, just outside of the Watford gap. Damaging three Mercedes and a Porsche 11 series, owned by a Rottweiler, that might be called Boris. 
More to follow.