Mum, I promise I won't let guilt consume me
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By blighters rock
- 7549 reads
We arrive almost together
sit for tea before going up
these are your final few hours
you have lost the ability to eat.
We enter and there you are
I mustn’t cry whatever happens
there are people here
and I don’t want to upset you.
I take your hand and stroke it
but I don’t know what to say
it’s been so long coming
my thoughts have turned rotten.
You send a tear down your cheek
one of my sisters applies a tissue
but then we remember you can’t see
and she goes running for the door.
We’ve never really shown our feelings
me and my sisters
but as I look deep into your face
I know you will soon be at peace.
A wave of your spirit races through me
and for a brief moment I am yours
but I fight off the feelings true to form
even now my heart of fear rules.
I have been your biggest burden
you always dreaded I’d die before you
and as your hand presses mine for dear life
I know you’re worrying for me even now.
Mum, I blamed you for holding me close
as a lonely child love was a fire in the garden
but you always forgave me then and now
I must do all I can to remember the real you.
I only hope you can see I'm changing into me
I am crying real tears and feeling real emotions
for the first time ever
and it’s all because of your undying love.
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Comments
a mother's death humbles us.
a mother's death humbles us. You've caught that guilt and love here.
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This brought back so many
This brought back so many memories for me reading. It's such an emotional piece, I found myself shedding a tear as I read.
Written with such honesty and love. I commend you for your brave homage to your mother.
I took a lot from this Richard.
Jenny.
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Honest and heartbreaking
Honest and heartbreaking words, Richard. Mums forgive because they know without tears that they are loved. And they always worry - even when the time for real concern has passed - (this, from experience). From her photo, she looks lovely. Tears are good - let them flow. I've shed a few myself reading this beautiful poem.
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Everything she did for you,
Everything she did for you, she did because she loved you. There's no need to feel guilt. Good mums don't expect much in return, they just want their children to be safe and happy. I know from talking to you that she was a lovely mum and she knew you'd grown up into a caring and kind hearted person - I'm sure she was proud of you.
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Beautiful, full of love.
Beautiful, full of love.
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A deeply painful, candid
A deeply painful, candid piece written with such love
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Phew
Hi Blighter Rock. Hope your well. Like Jenny said it brought back so many emotions for me and although still very painful, you captured the scene perfectly. well done and so deserving of cherries.
Take Care
Keep Smiling
Keep Writing xxx
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Hello Richard,
Hello Richard,
This is a beautifully written piece and expresses so well how you are feeling. I think the loss of any person creates a feeling of guilt in the people closest to them. But that is just one emotion and like the others such as anger and resentment, in the end all go away until you are left with just love for the person. Your Mum may have worried about you but she knew she was loved by you. I remember your distress when she wasn't being given the right food. I think I suggested you take in some soup but your sisters had already thought of that. You were that concerned about her and although she might not know you., your souls would meet and she would feel the love.
Moya
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