Relapsed Repeat

Stepping carefully each pace heavier than the last,
Mindfulness is essential to avoid the encroaching relapse,
Every crease is ironed not missing a single detail,
Eyes powdered with repute of wisdom,
And pain,
A fragile smile stretched wider than a Glasgow,
See the stitches,
Meticulously picking at this spot I get derailed,
Insecurities begin to flood my every thought,
Dissatisfaction unbound by persistent imperfection,
Breaking down from the unkempt narcissism,
Repeating the same devastation that dehumanized debonair,
Rapts so smugly with it's gilded golden cane,
Professing that I will never be enough,
Neither will others deem it worthwhile,
The ceaseless precaution I take to blend in with you,
Then to be publicly flayed by my inner demons,
While my soul feels the silent laughter,
That hides that this depravity is momentarily,
Caused by a deeply traumatized heart,
Publicly crucified for joyful public display,
Even if the monsters are no longer with us,
Their claws will always scratch at flaws.