The Consequences of Liking Coy and Vance

People ganged up on me and I didn't stand a chance.
It was because when I watched The Dukes of Hazzard, I liked Coy and Vance.
I said that Coy and Vance were much better than Bo and Luke.
People dragged me into alleys and beat me until I puked.
I thought that Coy and Vance made The Dukes of Hazzard a better show.
I was beaten-up thirty-five times and each punch was a very painful blow.
People hit me until my eyes swelled shut and I couldn't even see.
People were so furious that even women beat the hell out of me.
I bragged on Coy and Vance but I should've kept my big mouth shut.
People hit me so many times that I looked uglier than Jabba the Hutt.
People were furious and they sure didn't want to dance.
You'd better keep your trap shut if you like Coy and Vance.

[Dedicated to Christopher Mayer (1954-2011) who died on July 23, 2011.]