The Sausage Dog Today (3)

"Sausage dog stilts are a terrible idea," said David. "Sausage dogs aren't designed for stilt-walking. They're beloved pets, not circus freaks."

He was reacting to the new edition of their rival magazine, The Sausage Dog Today, the Valentine's special edition, which was giving away a free set of sausage dog stilts with every issue.

"I think it's a joke, David. A rather good one."

"Do you want to keep the sausage dog stilts? Tony," said Ella. "Is Beryl still single?"

"Actually Beryl's met someone."

"Anyone we know?" said David. 

"No, they're new to the area."

"Who are 'they'?"

"The sausage dog is called Tony."

"Tony, you like share a name with your sausage dog's boyfriend?"

"Yes I do. It's not an uncommon name for a sausage dog. A few years ago we surveyed the top hundred sausage dog names among our readers and Tony was 53.

"What about Tony's owner?" said Ella.

"What about her?"

"Oh it's a 'her'. Is she single?"

"I think so. I don't really know, we mostly talk about sausage dogs."

"What's her name?"

"Julie, and I don't know anything else about her so can we change the subject."

"What are we going to do about the Sausage Dog Today?" said David. "That's the second time the magazine has taken our idea and gone one better.  And it's not just a strong front page. They've got all their usual features, Merly Streep is the celebrity sausage dog owner, and they've got a new feature, the diary of the moon dog."

"Moon dog?"

"Frodo, THe sausage dog Richard Branson is sending on the voyage to the moon. It goes through his day in great detail, every training session, meal, time spent in the vacuum chamber."

"You think it's really written by the dog?"

"By someone close to him, certainly, his trainer, or dog-walker. The magazine must know someone close to Richard Branson - you don't think he could be behind the new magazine do you?"

"No, all his companies share the same brand, it would be the Virgin Sausage Dog Magazine."