A View From the Cab - The Debate 1948

“Where to?” said Sidney.

“23rd and Third,” said the man.

“Sit back and enjoy the ride, mister. And say hello to my pooch.”

The man reached over the front seat and gave the German Shepards paw a friendly shake.

“Don’t mind FDR, mister. He likes to greet the passengers. He’s what you call my goodwill ambassador.”

“We could all use a little goodwill these day, cabbie. Glad to meet you, FDR.”

“You sound a little glum, mister. Girlfriend troubles?”

“Nah. It’s this damn upcoming election. It’s killing me. I’ve got a good mind to stick my head in the mud. At least I’d stand a good chance of coming out with a couple of meaty worms that’ll look good at the end of a fish hook. The worms I’m talking about ain’t good for nothing.”

“Ah, the election. Democracy in action. Or, as my old man once said, May the best manipulator win. Which one is manipulating you the most? Truman or Dewey?”

“No, not that election. I’m talking about the pair of numb skulls running for president of my local union. The one old guy that I do like has seen better days. But these days he needs a traffic cop to keep his thoughts from skidding off the road. I’m told his wife glues his eyelids open so he don’t fall asleep on his feet. Except he snores, so the jig was up at the first debate.”

“I’m afraid to ask about the guy you don’t like.”

“Oh, him? He’s just big hunk of swollen liver without the bacon. Unfortunately, we got too many union members who’ll eat up anything. And if you rub enough snake oil on it, you’ll soon find yourself Snake Oil Salesman of the Year. You know what this guy’s campaign slogan is? Vote for Me if You Know What’s Good For You! You believe that? I thought I was done fighting fascism when I came home from the war. Now it’s knocking on my door handing out pamphlets. Not for me, brother. I may not know much, but I know bad liver when I smell it. I’m voting No Liver.”

“I’m with you, pal,” said Sidney. “And all this food talk is making me hungry. Do you mind if I pull over to that hot dog stand on 86th? Me and FDR could do with a couple of dogs and a papaya drink. You want something?”

“Sounds swell, cabbie. I got a couple of hours left to cast my vote. Might as well do it on a full stomach. It may be my last enjoyable mean for quite a while. I’ll take mine with onions.”

“Coming right up, mister. Consider me and FDR your goodwill ambassadors for the day. And if things don’t go your way today, you might want to ring me up. Here’s my card.”

“Sidney Green,” read the man. “The hack with a knack for keeping you on track. Thanks, Sidney. I’ll be sure to do that. You can count on it.”

Photo courtesy of Wiki Commons:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Political_Cartoon_by_Jim_Berryma...(cropped).jpg