Utterly disgusted

The Delivery Manager,

Dear Sir,
I feel I have no option but to complain about an otherwise, perfect
service. Unfortunately, for fear of reprisals, I must also remain
anonymous. However, by briefing all your postal staff I believe you may
be able to help myself and other customers.
I have recently purchased a house on Canvey Island and take great pride
in the up keep of my garden and property. As the saying goes 'An
Englishman's house is his castle'.
Last week I had to attend work earlier than usual due to a meeting and
was preparing to leave when I heard the postman arrive. Then to my
disgust as he entered my private porch way he broke wind rather loudly.
This left a most unpleasant smell and was most disturbing for my pet
cat as it was sleeping in this section of the house. I believe this to
have happened on many occasions as my cat often appears in my bedroom
looking rather distraught and tormented after the postman has delivered
the mail.
I decided to observe the postman over the course of the week and one
day he had the misfortune of stepping in some dog mess as he was
approaching my house. Then, to my amazement, he proceeded to wipe it
off on the corner of my driveway! I'm sure that the post office could
provide a stick or some kind of brush for such emergencies. I have also
taken to wearing disposable gloves to open my mail as I have observed
him picking his nose on several occasions.
I find this behaviour most unacceptable from a service going under the
name of Royalty, and feel that it could quite easily be rectified in a
quick briefing session on manners.

Yours sincerely,

Ofar Quarson