Battle Cries

Gold cherry

By Bee

Mon, 12 May 2014
  • 21146 reads
46 comments
 

He crouched through flash-backs
sipping dregs of self respect
thrown up by light of day and downed
again each night.

Comprehending that an end for him
was not in sight, he knocked,
but got no answer - 
only echoes of familiar voices  
shouting cries of victory 
that had arrived too late. The War they said
he'd fought to end all wars was never far away.

He knocked again, and still no answer came -
just those eerie echoes of the fallen  
calling him to join them 
behind death's door.

Certificate 12
Poem
Other Non-fiction

Comments

Submitted by jeand on

HI Bee,

This tells so well of  the bleakness of those who've suffered in a war. I especially like the "sipping dregs of self respect."

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, Jean. I'm glad you mentioned that bit - I wasn't sure if it worked, or not.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Editor, I was so pleased when I saw the cherries. Just wondering - does this mean I can't put this in the competition now, or can you take them off again if I do?

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

I was going to ask that question, Bee. Did you intend to enter it in the competition? It is a good one.

Luigi

 

Submitted by Bee on

Yes, I did want to. Its given me a bit more confidence that you think it's good enough. Thank you, Luigi.

Bee

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

cherries removed for competition - good luck!

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you.

Bee

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Well done Bee, your poem describes a haunted man.           Elsie

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks so much, Elsie.

Bee

Submitted by scratch on

Congratulations on your fantastic poem winning the summer competition '100 years on' Bee.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Wow! Truly gobsmacked ! 

Your congratulations mean so much, scratch. Thank you.

Bee

Submitted by Hydra on

Well done Bee. Well deserved.

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks, Scorpio.

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Quality pure and simple, Bee. Brava!

Luigi

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Luigi - that's very kind.

Bee

Submitted by Ewan on

gratulations!!!!

Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Ewan - same to you!

Bee

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Well done Bee. A lonely, desolate moment shared. Wonderful imagination and depiction. A fine, worthy choice for best poem. Kev

Parson Thru

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Kev. That's really nice of you to say.

 

Bee

Submitted by Denzella on

Bee,

Allow me to add my congratulations for winning the poetry part of the competition.  It was an evocative, sensitively written and  finely wrought piece that deserved to win and I am ecstatically happy for you

Moya.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Dear Moya,

you have been so busy reading recently, and today, up with (before, even) the lark. I couldn't sleep, either.

Thank you. 

Bee

Submitted by VeraClark on

Congratulations Bee! I've been off here for a while but it's a smasher of a poem. A stark delivery of PTSD and a haunting revival of war. Well done.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Vera. 

Hope you are well.

Bee

Submitted by agnosticnun on

Congratulations, Bee! A very well deserved win and a haunting poem.

Kristi

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Kristi. 

Bee

Submitted by socialeaf on

This is a brilliant poem. It conjures such a vivid and haunting image. Well done! 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you socialeaf. 

Bee

Submitted by jolono on

Brilliant Bee. The first few lines really got me, "sipping dregs of self respect, thrown up by light of day and downed again each night" is really powerful.

Many congratulations on the award. Well deserved.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, Joe.

To be honest, I'm still stunned that a little poem like this got anything, but really thrilled. 

So glad you liked the bit you picked out. It's really nice of you to say.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

I forgot to say thanks for the golden cherries. Pick of the day - that was brilliant!

Bee

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