Beach

Cherry

By Bee

Thu, 06 Aug 2015
  • 7313 reads
19 comments
 

I take 

the rough

with smooth   waves

crash in 

calm

drags out over rocks

in time   sands

build   high

castles   

Trodden 

down   in prints

washed away

fear

beseeches

mercy

Take the pain -

Killer, come

combing beaches...





Wave.

Certificate 12
Poem
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

the action of waves, real and metaphoric, haven't got my head totally around the beachcombing. The waves wash away and bring in flotsam and jetsam?
Inprints = Imprints?
Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks for thinking, Rhiannon. It's really a stream of thoughts - words leading one into another with their meanings. It was 'in prints' - got joined up. Thanks for noticing and mentioning. 

Bee

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I think poems are best written through stream of thoughts Bee. There's so many personal feelings and emotions written here, it takes your breath away reading.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Jenny, that's lovely of you.

x

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

'Killer, come

combing beaches...'

Effective alliteration here, Bee, and the whole poem's layout adds to its effectiveness and the welling up ofemotions; so very like the sea, indeed - holding back, for all its worth, until it is forced to let go, and that wave finally crashes to shore.

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Tina.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

smiley - for the cherries!

Thank you.

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

So short and simple but so effective. One gets the feel of the waves through the spacing of the words. And the idea of the pain being washed away is perhaps even a useful thought process to use when it really hits you.I use visions of waves when I'm trying to get to sleep, and sometimes it works.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by EB on

Yes, the waves are a good visualization for sleep - I use them, too.

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Jean. 

Glad you found it effective and noticed so much of the detail. I too fall asleep imagining waves.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks EB. It's wonderful to imagine the waves and get lulled off to sleep that way.

Bee

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Very clever - Interesting comparison. Hopefully a period of calm will follow the crashing waves.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Bee on

Thank AE.

Bee

Submitted by scratch on

Ebb and flow.

 

Submitted by Bee on

smiley

Bee

Submitted by Pat G on

The reference to prints washed away can be so significant. The bare footprint on a wet beach is an ephemeral human mark - we make an impression, but it is quickly erased.

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Pat. That's helpful to know.

Bee

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Bee,

Wonderful poem.  But from 'fear...to beaches' for me, shows anxiety but then 'wave' seems almost to be beckoning.  If I'm right please stop waving and carry on pushing.

My thoughts are with you,

Moya 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Moya.

I've stopped waving smiley.

Thanks for reading and thinking. It means so much.

 

Bee