White dreamer

By Beeme

Sun, 19 Dec 2010
  • 2106 reads
12 comments
 

Star-flakes illuminate
the sky as they fall,
hover mid-dance
in the air.

A frozen puddle at
the tip of our walkway,
collects light.
A marble rainbow,
flashing multi
-coloured candles
at dusk.

The people descend
into their own-
cold stone rooms.
Their open fires,
thawing the air.

A snowman
a statue, numb-
alone, expect for
the glistening air.

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Beeme - you have managed to convey both the starkness and the beauty of the landscape very successfully with the short lined structure and also the imagery you use. ( Stanza 1, line 3, I think you mean 'hover', by the way.) I also like the contrast of stanza 3, with the rest of the poem. Stanza 2, has to be my favourite though:- A frozen puddle at the tip of our walkway, collects light. A marble rainbow, flashing multi -coloured candles at dusk. Much enjoyed. Tina xx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much Tina! I can't believe I wrote hoover lol. Thank you for spotting the typo, I've changed it now. I'm really happy you enjoyed :) The snow of late, has been very inspiring. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by pinda on
I agree with Silver Spun :D Great imagery and feeling to this piece. The second stanza is also my favourite. A frozen puddle at the tip of our walkway, collects light. A marble rainbow, flashing multi -coloured candles at dusk. Such a simple thing put into a great poem

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you so much Pinda for your lovely encouraging comment, much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by shoe on
Really felt glittering beauty of snow and ice reading this, stanza 1 and 2 are my favourites, lovely poem.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Really glad the recent weather is providing you with inspiration, Beeme. This is wonderful - like Tina, I love that second stanza ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much Shoe! Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Thanks Magic, I'm glad you enjoyed. I think that's my favourite too :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
You certainly captured the season so well. Thanks for a lovely read. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
right from the start, really got me ;) x K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much Jenny! I'm so very happy you enjoyed! Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you Kahdai, :] x

k.