Wild-men

By Beeme

Sat, 05 Mar 2011
  • 1769 reads
12 comments
 

Wild men
built like horses,
ride along
the black fist of
a morning horizon.
Veiled; all in rags,
pulling at the scraps
of civilisation.
Rising...
like a soul,
broken from a body.
Laughing...
at the empty skulls,
circling the clouds
looking for heaven.

Certificate U
Poem
Fantasy

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Nice one, Beeme and I like the line breaks. 'Laughing...' works well, likewise, 'Rising...' would give it even more impact. I.e. 'Rising... like a soul, broken from a body'. What do you think? Tina xx

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Great poem Beeme ;)Pia

Submitted by Beeme on
Thanks very much, yeah I think that works very nicely :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
It does, Beeme, it does;-)Tina xx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much Pia xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
:) xx

k.

Submitted by shoe on
Really like this one, makes me think of the war torn parts of the world for some reason, strong stuff.

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much Shoe :) Really happy you enjoyed xx

k.

Submitted by ScoZen on
ScoZen Hello little beeme, enjoyed. "...all in rags,pulling at the scraps..." That's me on a good day!
ScoZen

Submitted by Beeme on
:) aha, thanks ScoZen. Really happy you enjoyed :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by fatboy74 on
Black fist of a morning horizon - wow that's a metaphor. Very much enjoyed this one Beeme.

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thanks very much Fatboy :] Beeme xx

k.