Dead Duck Day

Baguettes, halved,
(I wouldn't throw whole
ones. Do I look
like a psycho?) that's all,
and it wasn't my fault

anyway, ducks
have eyes. He could
dodge if he wanted to.
Maybe
he wanted to be hit, maybe
he was sick of it,
swimming, that is,
I know I would be,
so it wasn't my fault

anyway, I'm no Olympic
javelin champion. I never
said I was a good aim
and yes, I know there's more
water than ducks
but I wanted him to get it,
and I knew the others'd fight him
I liked him, so
it can't be my fault

anyway, I didn't know
we'd come in, ruddy
after haggling down
the park keeper
from a life sentence
to a caution and a scowl
and you'd be there
on the sofa, limp
as wet bread.