Last Night

Last night
Well, it was cold and dark, rain was pounding on the windscreen and the wipers scraped across the glass, the sound went right through me like chalk on a blackboard, to avoid it I waited until my vision was almost obscured before flicking them on and cringing against the noise.
My mind skitting form one topic to the next before the emptiness of my life descended upon me like a black cloud. Divorced, and alone and sad, no no, don’t let it get a grip, shake it off and be positive. If therapy had taught me anything it was to recognise when I was beating myself up. The next step of taking that thought and turning it into something positive I hadn’t found so easy. Distraction I thought, and my mind reverted to the awful piercing din from those stupid wipers. A mans job car maintenance, and back again to my empty life round and round like a carousel, my inner voice clearly hating me.
It’s true what they say, your life flashes before your eyes at the moment of impact. Forty years in forty seconds. My Childhood teddy, cuddles with mum, playing on the beach, friends, pets, my first love, and then there you were, skipping along beside me in your school uniform, dark hair tied back with pink ribbons, beautiful.
The sirens screamed and blue lights flashed before my eyes , rain jumping from the ground, a paramedic came to me, touched my neck, his big bearded face in mine, he spoke, my voice wouldn’t come. He left and ran through the rain to the biker sprawled across the road looking painfully contorted, at best a broken leg I thought. I watched as the two men worked on the body, carefully manoeuvring him onto a trolley neck brace in place. I could still hear the sirens and waited for the paramedics to load the biker into the ambulance. I waited and watched as the doors closed and the ambulance began to move out of sight. There must be a second one on the way, he was clearly in a worse condition than me, I felt fine but couldn’t move, trapped by the wreckage. I watched as police stopped the traffic, the rain had all but stopped. Busy, busy outside my vehicle, blue lights, high vis jackets rushing around, car headlights.
I felt a strange feeling inside and a calmness spread through my body. Then there you were beautiful as ever no sign of the illness. Oh how I’ve missed my little angel.
Now you tell me how it was for you.