The Talking Moon

By Cavalcader

Wed, 10 Feb 2010
  • 5946 reads
20 comments
 

As I looked up
To the blue sky!
There was a full moon
To my surprise.

My pop would have said.
"The full moon
Draws the river's
And they will overflow"

"But he was alway's
Right! you know."

If I look hard
I can see!
A nose,and eyes and mouth
Oh! What am I talking about!

"But it's really
A shadow of planets
Jupiter,Mars,
Pluto,Venus"

The atmosphere is only
The billowing clouds
Passing over the twilight, moon
Shifting and drifting on

Then watching over the world
The boys and girls
As the sun, shining comes out to play
The angels have watched over them
For a new day

The stars that
Twinkle on all so bright
As they pop!
Cascade, down to earth at night.

Children! are wondering
What? to-morrow will bring
Tell them to "hold on"
The lambs and flowers
'Are coming too'.

Butterflies
With exotic colours
On their wings
All for an enchanting spring

Some have have nothing
Other's have all
But if we all share and give
That would be
The greatest gift of all.
Especially thinking of "Haiti."

Certificate U
Poem
Children's

Comments

Submitted by kheldar on
How very true the last stanza is Julie, you put it so eloquently David xx :--)

cool

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hi there, Julie. This is beautiful. I especially like your astronomical references;-) You have tried very hard with this one and it shows. Just one tiny point to help you along the way. In the second from last verse - first line, should read 'Are coming too'. As a general rule if you are writing 'to' as in 'the children are going to school' it only has one 'o'. If you are writing, 'The children are going to school and the teachers are going too' the second 'too' would have two 'o's. That is to say, 'too' written like this usually means 'as well' or 'also'. My favourite verse is this one:- "But it's really A shadow of planets Jupiter,Mars, Pluto,Venus." A big well-done for this, Julie;-) Oh, and I meant to say, I really like the title you have chosen. Tina x

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Silver-Spun-Sand Hi!Thankyou so much glad you liked,tried correct it. With your help.I cannot do punctuation's,it was a play,on word's. Reads much better thankyou.I was a "Cabbage" once,plus pain !out of this world.That's enough so here!I am.I did look up to Full Moon the other night,and take a photo,came out so small.I love reading your's and expert way of doing it right!thank's.Get angry if hit wrong key's not looking.Or reading glasses not changed!computer,goes bit slow,but it's me? Brrr! so cold,going back shut-eye. julie x

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Silver-spun-sand I have tried to correct punctuation, you have kindly done,and also Shoe. But a bit confusing to me. Like co-ordination dance right arm,and left leg can't do either. thankyou. julie xx

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new kheldar Thankyou so much that's my line to. Editor t.Cook Tony, Help on as asked, "I stand to be corrected" and all comments.Suggestions. on Try out, of P-P-P "Pick-Up-A-Penguin" and my punctuation,speech,colon,comma marks. The advice from Tony,hope stretched my brain!again. Mental side, no not mental, plus his,commputer sticks or crashed out.Or hit wrong key's.angry. The new version,I accepted of Tony's much better. Editor.t.Cook did and changed bit.Capital's Punctuation Cherry! already there,with such compliments and new version.Wow. with email,got in. So pleased for an Editor! t.Cook Abctales to take time! on correcting.New version I did accept of course,reads purr-fect, now inspired me on And to read punctuation of all.I can't do? Cherry! belong's to him really. Your's very good.I am a "L" "Silver-Spun-Sand" does to. Punctuation no good!Do read if you haven't yet. Editor's "Hope In A Strange Corner" That's a Cracker! take care,getting shut eye. julie xx

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
And thank you too, Julie;-) Tina x

 

Submitted by shoe on
lovely idea for this poem, especially like "The atmosphere is only The billowing cloud's Passing over the twilight, moon Shifting and drifting on" I think you don't need the ' in clouds, I get these wrong all the time, read tony's comment on my poem "the awakening", it is lovely of him to help isn't it,

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new shoe Yes my favourite line as well. I just done a comment,forgot to post it,lost it all.I can't do punctuations.key's held wrong go into capital or small right and left hand.So many a time delete. Like co-ordination dance use right leg,and your right arm. I have altered it and Siver-spun-sand helped. But to ask recive,and advise from Editor ABCtales t.Cook that was something.I put I stand to be corrected. As I put poem P-P-P "Pick-Up-A- Penguin". Cos: grammatically wrong, it was a try! pl;us a cherry! new version all done by him (Tony)great and read so purr-fect! Of course I accepted his.But the cherry! inspiration and comments to wheel me on, brain stretched.Do 2 More.So really cherry! should be his. Must read The Awakening" of your's. thanks read better aye!mine now,but confusing all punctuation.Like T.V remote controls many including me picked up the wrong one.if he is out had it.Think. julie xx

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Shoe well done on the Cherry! On the poem " "he Awakening" is brill: I liked it all opology been off a while. just read. 2nd stanza for me is I catch myself,rythmically slipping The heels of my shoes on and off.. and 3rd stanza starts The celtic cross. I got one weeks ago mine saw in charity shop, one I had already blessed+silver by my priest then. Allergy now carry in purse. Celtic cross mine saw beautiful like your poem shines,edged with black on a black cord.Not blessed yet! My friend of many years he loves Celtic crosses. julie x

Submitted by jennifer on
Never use an apostrophe for plurals - girl's = no! girls = yes! apostrophes are used to show possession (My daughter's book) and where a letter is missed out (do not = don't) Some great imagery here, though, your writing has improved much in my absence! J x

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Jennifer Thankyou so much for your help.Can't do it like you.. Not everyone is good everything we have to learn,and fall.I Cannot do too much punctuation=like you put school=of the school=boys=boy's and big words.To=to. I stand corrected, but can only take in,what I can do? I am like that! If one correct's or ideas fine, and just normal.quesion mark.and speech mark and hyphon,and capitals ok.Must explaing what means what! Hopeless I cannot grasp! No good to me.Maybe now help of Abctales I should alter! the 88 now done,since May? julie x must go.

Submitted by kheldar on
Hi Julie, Please don't get too bogged down by punctuation, you write in a raw and emotional way, it is not so much the written word as a picture of what you are thinking. Stick to what you do best, which is bringing your thoughts alive in a passionate and vibrant way. David xx :--)

cool

Submitted by Cavalcader on
Hi!kheldar Just seen your wonderful word's. A thousand love song's baby and hear I am. Familiar word's.A-Z Priest+ from top to toe. So I can go foreward now and try all these thing. Some good at some bad.Writing group homeless wheeled me on.But to put under my last poem "I accept to stand correction,as I know it's not grammatically correct.That's something? and 'low and behold' a slighter change of punctuation,and a capital word and better version.From an Editor t.Cook Abctales that is something,like Hope,Love,and Charity. I know a question,mark,hyphen semi colon to,Apostrophe's But to put it to-gether can't do,don't grasp it.No good telling me,to-too-of teh boy's boys say dress of girls= girl's too complicated for me. Of course Teacher's of any career know and subjects,they do can fluently. and all that drive me up the wall.If other's in life can only see the "underdog" coming through we can all help each other,after whatever one's through. Especially prayer's and healing.Won't go into that. In our time's children still left school,couldn't read or write,and adult's to.Unyet all have so much now.If I can grasp something ok.If I can't I'll try? If complicated difficult.I advanced from 1st base writing group,and homeless taught us sentences,20 words images pictures and other things,to read homeless work,and drawings,and sketches and "The Big Issue" in no punctuation they do,was amazing and Our Editor T.Cook took it over for a week.I see has Abctales heading,as well for the poem page.Wow. Three of mine,on here!put in a book,vanity co'pay each time,do all punctuation etc;and we need you as a writer what?what rubbish pay.But here Tony said "me best to interact with all,and I am gobsmacked to even be accepted on here!Mentally. bless you.I get such a giggle1yes"and proud see a comment. May God's +light shine!upon you,find we can help in any way that is the answer?If I can grasp something ok.Just read your "Weariness" brill:especially line,debilitating illness,kind of.The paper says prove "Snails,have same brain parts as human beings in diseases,science is amazing.I put on about 30 of mine,I was so proud,but punctuation wise terrible? Before I saw 1st cherry!for sense,Inspiration."Angel Face"Wow.No one knows pit-falls of life!or the brain capacity do they!Will delete this if far to long. In all we see and do? A Cabbage can't do anything It's hard,wedged in the ground,very difficult to dig up sometimes. j x

Submitted by Nolan on
"The stars that Twinkle on all so bright As they pop! Cascade, down to earth at night." Very original! Keep it up!
 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Nolan Thankyou mind block at moment. Well more like fireworks isn't it,if one watches them Must read yours and others, been busy on something at moment And a chill,winds here,and him too. julie x.

Submitted by Nolan on
I think this poem is brilliant (as it stands). It's one of your best so far. All of it is happiness. Cheers! &&
 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Nolan Golly gee1 Nolan,thanks kind comment. What a week.ceiling leak,toilet wrong height.The wind cuts through. have a good week end.Weel eve death can be made into sense humour. julie x

Submitted by jleehamil81 on
This is simply wonderful, it makes me smile...I am 4000 miles away but I look at the moon, and I read your words, and as it makes me smile your probably writing right now. :)

J.lee Hamil

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New jleehamil81 Hello! my little one, you are so right, I have been out helping great friend of many years can't do much. Hubby and I shopping listening and doing things as now in N /Home. Many groups and places he joined me in and we did. But clicked on Ow! I have just seen this amazing comment. Even though your 4000 miles away. I am trying to guess where that may be. I think Editor AbcTales.com (Tony) was doing comp money went to Haiti. I believe mine to long. Well come on you can or may get some ideas type one back. Whoops! I can't type straight after that fantastic comment of your's. The sunsets lovely I run to get the camera to late sometimes, red ball in the park, time get back sloped down over the houses. Keep writing I am looking, with my beady eyes! all the best julie xx

Submitted by Cavalcader on
Editor t.cook AbcTales Just look at this amazing comment from jleehamil81 I am gobsmacked. Credit goes to you. I know you are extremely busy, as I have read. He is 4000 miles away. Where could that be. poem is The Talking Moon. julie x