Bitter

When I contemplate on recent events and how far I have made it in this life; there lies a sense, a small indisputable feeling of dissapointment that lingers in my heart. Such a bitter angst that grips me when I wake in this world of ghosts which only helps to keep me alive, but never well at all. However, I just can't keep beating myself up like this. There are so many endless other good-hearted people out there who have a life of unspeakable horror and restraint. Why do I remain so bitter though? Have I given up on humanity or myself? Either way, I cannot put it in a lense clear enough to define this sickening, abashed selfishness that my life should be better than it is today. I need to face the facts regarding all the wonderful things and people that are always there for me to whatever end. It just strikes me odd how I can have all these things yet still have the urge to require more to be happy and fully content. I guess I finally see that happines is not a feeling or choice. Happiness is only a momentary glimpse, a mere peek into the elusive life we are all striving for that cannot be acheived because if we did have it all then why should we continue to live? Therefore, writing friends, seize that moment of joy and never let it go. It definitely won't come back the same way later.