Dairy Queens

Narm's first impressions of LA were hazy like the skyline. It was all
very confusing after the long flight from Bangkok. She'd been delayed
by immigration and somehow she'd walked right past her husband, Lao, in the arrivals area. Fortunately he'd recognized her OK, located her
luggage and then she was in his car being driven along big roads with
lots of other cars.

All she really remembered after that was tall palm trees, car parks,
and hardly anybody walking, no motorbikes just cars everywhere; many
with just one person in them. Where were they all going?

The house was nice enough. Big and empty and Lao seemed to live alone
in it. She asked him about that and he said he had been married but it
was finished now. She wondered if he had any children but she didn't
like to ask.

Lao was out at work all day. On telephones he said and she
didn't know anybody she could visit. Not that she could walk outside.
Lao had said it wasn't a good idea. Many bad people out there
he said. She watched TV but she couldn't understand it. It
seemed to be mostly fat people shouting at each other...men fighting
with crocodiles and bombs going off. She asked Lao about the
bombs and he said "Arabs." She left the TV on even though she didn't
understand it. It was better than silence.

Life settled into a routine. She made coffee for Lao and watched him
eat his cornflakes. Then she cleaned the house and watched the fat
people shouting. When Lao came home he usually looked worn out. What did he do all day? she asked. He said "Telephones." Or "Freeway." She
would offer to cook something but usually he ordered a pizza and they
watched people eating live scorpions for a while, had a few
beers and fell asleep. He didn't seem to have any friends and when she
asked him about his life he said it didn't matter. Not her problem he
said. Well OK, did he have children? She was still afraid to
ask.

There was a small swimming pool behind the house. Lao jumped in naked and called her to follow him. "Don't be shy." Lao said. She felt
awkward doing it but there was nobody around so she thought why not.
When they were both naked in the pool he wanted her to play with his
ham underwater. Men were funny.

One day Lao took her to Disneyland, which she enjoyed very much except when their boat got stuck for half-an-hour in front of a drunken
mechanical pirate. "Malfunction," said Lao. But for several nights
afterwards all she could see when she closed her eyes was a ghastly,
cackling phee. Another time they went to a Thai restaurant that didn't
have kweetio. Only a picture of a village just like hers on the menu
and a waitress from Bangkok who wouldn't talk to her.

One evening she told Lao she wished she could speak English better.
Maybe she could take some language classes? He asked her why. Well, she
said, so she could understand the news on TV better. "It's just crap,"
Lao said.
What about the fat people? she asked, it would be nice to know what
they were shouting about? Finally Lao said,"OK." He didn't seem very
happy about it but he said if he could find a language school close by
he would sign her up for some classes. Which is how she met
Dolores.

* * * *

"Me I been here two years already," Dolores said, "come from Colombia.
You?"
"Thailand." said Narm. "I am come from Thailand."
They were sitting in the Dairy Queen with their ice creams watching a
Mexican girl clear tables. Dolores called to her. "Ola Juanita. Que
tal?"
The girl waved smiling. "No hay tiempo hablar ahora Dolores.
Trabajo."
"Si, si, siempre trabajamos. Viva la vida loca. My friend," said
Dolores, "married. Three kids. Your husband Narm...he hit
you?"
"No. He OK."
"So what's the problem?"
"No problem. Just booa."
"Booa?"
"I don't know English...nothing to do...booa."
"Boring. You boring. Very boring life for you?"
"Yes I very boring. Every day."
"What I think Narm we are just like a pet monkeys. Gringo woman don't
put up with that shit. Guy I marry is asshole. He comes to Medellin
with group. They make party you know? Check out all the nice Catholic
virgins, ha,ha. They looking for wives."
"Why you marry him?"
"Why not? Was nothing for me in that place. I think OK I go with him,
get a green card then see what happen. Now I'm stuck with the bastard.
But not for long. You want to make some money?"

* * * *

Dolores told her about the agency and the next day Ginger showed up.
She was a big blonde falang woman.
"Hi honey. You're from Thailand right? I've got friends in Manila. So
how much did Dolly tell you?"
"Just that she can make easy money helping lonely guys." said
Dolores.
"Right," said Ginger, "You put it very nicely Dolly. Here's how it
works. I arrange everything and I call you when I need you. I send a
car, or it could be a taxi and you go to the guy's place. Or maybe a
motel sometimes. Dolly can tell you what kind of stuff they mostly
like. Not more than an hour and the driver takes you home. You get
$150 sometimes more. I keep a record and pay you once a
week."
"I work every day?" Narm asked.
"Entirely up to you sweet-heart. Let's say once every few days for
starters. More if you want. Plenty more. Excuse me." Ginger took a cell
phone from her bag and started talking to somebody. Dolores smiled
reassuringly over a spoonful of chocolate ice cream.
"Couple of things," said Ginger putting the phone away, " and then
I've got to go. Busy, busy. I know your name is Narm but I'm calling
you Mindy OK? It's sexier and it's better if they don't know your real
name. Another thing, never, ever give them your phone number
or let them know where you live OK? I'm serious. It can get you in big
trouble. Right girls I'm outta here. Take care and I'll be in touch."
Through the window they watched Ginger get into her car, a golden
Porsche, and pull out of the Dairy Queen lot.
"Carrera GT," said Dolores, "kick ass car. Are you OK? You look
worry."
"I never do before."
"Is easy. Ginger checks out all the men. She got like regular
customer. No problem. Don't worry, be happy. Is America."

* * *

Nothing happened for a couple of days then the phone rang and Narm
picked it up. It was Ginger. A taxi would arrive soon to take Narm to a
motel. Ginger said not to worry. Everything was arranged.
"I name Mindy," said Narm to the man who opened the door of the motel
room.
"My oh my, " said the man, "Ginger does it again."
"I sorry." said Narm. "English no good."
"That's OK. Just talking to myself. Oh boy. Come
over here andlet's have a look at you. I'm Harry by the
way. I'm in movies."
Harry had bags under his eyes, gray hair and a moustache of the same
color. He also had about six pairs of hands. He helped her undress all
the while muttering things like "Oh boy." "Oh my God." And "I can't
fucking believe this!" then he had her on the bed and it was
"Oh man," and "Yeah baby!!" and "Oh yeah!!!" and that was
it. All over and next she knew Harry was lying back
gasping for breath and looking at the ceiling.
"You finish?" Narm asked.
"What? Oh finish, yeah, Jeezus..."

As he was getting dressed Harry took a wallet from his jacket. "Here
this is for you." He was offering her a $100 bill.
"You no pay already?"
"You really are a new girl aren't you Mindy? Sure I paid already. How
much did Ginger give you? A hundred? Two? I'll see you again. Soon I
hope."

Within a few weeks Narm found herself with a steady stream of
customers. She couldn't remember all their names but she got to know
their personal preferences. Some of them liked to talk. Some of them
just liked looking at her. Some of them liked her to dress up in school
uniforms and one guy had a collection of pictures he liked to show her.
She soon realized that all men were different but all the same. Another
thing, her English was improving all the time. She learned to say
things like "Take your time honey." "Ummm that feels so good." and
"Sorry, I don't do anal." The money was piling up too. Dolores took her
to a bank and showed her how to open a safe deposit box until she could get a bank account in Thailand. Later in the Dairy Queen Narm asked
Dolores if her husband knew what she was doing.

"You kidding? He find out he kill me for sure. I got one
customer is a movie star. Short guy but have a big one. He
offer me $1000 to shave my pussy. I say I can't do that! He say OK
$2000. So I say OK and he do it. Then he want to snort a line of coke
off it!! I no kidding! This guy crazy. Later I see him on TV and my
husband say the guy is great. Seen all his movies. Then he ask me 'Hey
Dolly why you shave it?' I tell him sometimes when I think
about you I get too hot down there. You still booa?"
Narm laughed. She was starting to like America.

* * * *

One day Narm was late getting home. A customer had asked for a bit
more time and traffic had been heavy on the freeway. She was worried
Lao might get home before her and, oh dear, his car
was in the driveway and she started to rehearse a story she had
prepared about having to do some shopping but nothing
prepared her for seeing his faceless body slumped across the sofa or
the blood splattered around the living room. What had
happened?

She thought of calling Dolores or even Ginger but decided against it.
Involving them would just make it more complicated. There was a gun
lying on the floor. Had he shot himself? Why would he do that?
Stay calm Narm. Jai yen yen. She had to call the police whether she
liked it or not, 911, the number that was on TV all
the time. Call the police and tell them Lao was
dead...and then what? Wait for them to come. OK. They would go
through the house for anything valuable. Hide the key to the safe
deposit box. If there was any small money around they could have
it.

The cops were soon there. Two cars, lights flashing and soon the house
was full of them. Nobody said much to her. They looked at Lao, the gun,
the telephone. They took photographs and walked around outside looking at the ground. Suicide for sure one said. Then a couple of them in
plain clothes started asking her questions. Was she the maid? Or did
she live there? Was she legally married to the deceased? How long had
she been in the US? It was all very confusing but the language problem
helped in a way. She understood most of it but they assumed she didn't
speak English at all.

Then they took her in a car to the police station, a big building with
big policemen everywhere. It was very scary but she hadn't done
anything wrong had she? There were papers to be completed and one of
the officers helped her with them. Your name is Narm Simpson? From
Thailand. How old are you Narm? And so on. Then they brought her some
coffee and she sipped at it while they talked among themselves. Then
more questions.

"You are Narm right?" She nodded. "So who is Mindy?" So they knew
about that already. The less she said the better off she would be. "See
Narm I got to tell you your husband, he was a telephone
engineer right? He put a recording device on the
telephone. We know you were working for Betty
Blumenfeld."
"Who?"
"You probably know her as Ginger? You know Ginger don't you Narm? This
is a Polaroid picture...that's Ginger and you in the Dairy
Queen parking lot. And this one's you coming out of a motel
room...we found these in Ralph's car." On and on went
the questions
"What we think Narm, you were one of Betty's girls. Selling
your ass. Your husband found out about it and took it hard. Shot
himself. Anyway Narm you're lucky. You're free to go."
As she was leaving one of the officers took her aside and said,
"Uh&, Mindy, I may need to talk to you again sometime
OK? My name's Lou. Here's my card."

* * *

Look at you now Narm. Sitting all alone in the Minny Mouse Motel on
West Katella, Anaheim, Orange County, U.S.A, thousands of
miles from your nameless village up a dirt track north of Chiang Dao.
What is going on back there she wonders? How has Wandee been spending
the money she sent? Is little Tik OK? Would she like this place?

Families with small children will love the Minnie Mouse Motel's
convenient location and 24-hour security, says a brochure. All guests
are invited to enjoy the complementary coffee. Toilets are sanitized
for your protection. The motel has it's own pool, ample parking and is
only a short walk from the Disneyland Main Entrance and your favorite
fast-food outlets. There is a Dairy Queen right next door. Narm is in
there now in fact, enjoying a Scrumpdillyshus Brownie Earthquake.
Dolores has chosen a Peanut Buster Parfait with hot fudge
topping.

"Don't lose that marriage certificate," says Dolores. "I know a
lawyer. Colombian guy, I'll ask him some questions."

So Narm stays away from the house for a few days. She is afraid to go
there alone anyway and the police told her to wait till they'd finished
the investigation. But wait how long? Then she remembers the card the
policeman gave her. Could she phone a policeman just like
that? This is America maybe it would be OK. She has to do
something

Narm dials the number and at first nothing happens then a voice says,
"Costello."
"Mr. Lou?"
"Detective-Sergeant Lou Costello. Who's this?"
"Narm."
"Oh sure. Narm from Thailand. Let me
guess, you want to go home right? Well I've got good news for
you Mindy, er Narm, you can go home anytime."
"Thank you."
"No problem. We're all through with the house.
Er, Mindy, just one thing. I still might
give you a call sometime OK?"
"OK."

The house is a mess. She phones Dolores who says OK she'll be over
soon. Juanita has a bit of spare time that afternoon too. They show up
with a couple of Filipina girls who Narm hasn't met before. Pretty soon
they have some music going and they all get to work starting with the
living room. It was amazing, they all agreed, how far the blood and
brains and stuff had traveled.

"You know," said Dolores wiping a piece of congealed gray matter from
the TV screen, "you shouldn' feel bad. If you husband really like you
he should do this in the bathroom. And why he have to use a shotgun? Is
look like Cali on Sunday morning. And look at that carpet. Maybe is
better you pay somebody to clean up this. Paint walls, change carpet,
get new drapes."
"Not understand." said Narm.
"I talk to the lawyer already. You got a nice house here Mindy."
Dolores spins around a few times to the Latin beat, "hey, you even got
a swimming pool. Get the place clean up we have a party! Cumbia!!"