Things Become Worse When There Is An Arrangement

The facts:
there was an arrangement
day off
country pub
sunlit afternoon.
At the end of the garden
the shade of a tree
a wooden bench
two pints
one lager, one shandy.
We talked.
I watched you
walking to the garden door
disappearing in
and then became aware
the hairs on my arms
the warmth, the day
and what I was about to do.
Birdsong.
I could stop it, I thought
but then you walked back out
squinting in the light
and I knew I wouldn't.