GadzooksTis of misfortune that I tell good reader

Tis of misfortune that I tell good reader
My lady and your servant did feel sick unto death
With a harsh discomfort of the chest.
Whereupon we did sally forth for consult with a wise
Apokother.
“Thou hast partaken to excess of the new herb tobacco”
quoth he “and there is nought that man nor god can do to save thee from the grave” “Gadzooks” I cried much alarmed “such
cruel ill fate, I beseach your guidance and advice”
“Mourne ye not good christian”he counselled “go hence
and seek merriment whilst thou hath breath” “Alas good
healer” replieth I “in truth I am much burdened by
indebtedness to a harsh usuer and can afford no such pallliative”
“Prithee Sire” respondeth he “thou thinkest not cunningly
upon this matter consider ye this pray, wilst not your immortal
souls be long departed to that higher playne err the rascal duns
thee for thy debt?”
“Odds bodkins, thou art indeed a crafty fellow” I exclaimed
much pleased.
And so my comely wench and I did hasten to a merry towne
For goodly jollity Yet knowest thou this pious reader.
Partaking of much heady ale and joyessness of lively maypole
Danse, our wholesome health returneth
So now I must contrive to conceal mineself from mine cruel
Creditor lest he claim his pound of flesh.
Confess I to much anger ‘gainst mine apokother and verilly
Will chide the wretch most bitterly.

William of Nottingham