army of me, bjork:

in front of you there is
an obstacle---you knew
it was there when you
started walking in this
direction that you have
wanted to for a while---
but the fear had kept you
away for so long---the
pure unadulterated dread
that writhed up your
spine every moment
that you thought you
might have to think for
yourself---that you may
just have to weasel your
way out of this one on
your own---now your own
precious nightmare looks
back at you with crystal
clear clarity---and you
can’t blame anyone for
what it is that has held
you down---you can’t
find anymore scapegoats
or patsies to do your
selfish bidding---to fight
your fight when you just
don’t feel up to it---your
god died years ago and
yet for such a long time
you have been kicking at
its carcass like a dead horse
with your shoes getting
caught in its fly-and-maggot
-ridden rib cage---all the
angels, all the special little
spiritual beings that you
felt once helped you through,
have passed on---they
vanished like water to ice to
steam---so now that you are
done chasing the holy
ghosts---now that the dragons
and demons and witches and
warlocks and spells and
specters are all defunct---
you have that talk with
your best of friends and
they tell you that they have
had enough of your
whining---they say that it
has been so long since
they have had a normal
conversation which might
exist between two friends---
and certainly, the shoulder
which you have been
leaning on for so very long,
it is losing most of its
strength---because your friend
only has so much energy
(they are, after all, only
human), and they
have their own lives to
live---and quite frankly there
is no obligation that comes
with a friendship---that is
the beautiful thing about
becoming one’s friend &
gaining a friend---the act of
doing so is mutually fun
and spontaneous---there is no
dictatorship telling you that
you need to be a friend with
said friend---and in that same
notion, you have no idea
when it will be that your best
friend may leave the
friendship---your moments
with them are extremely
rich & rare, and isn’t it
amazing how quickly we
forget that simple fact---so
you are left looking in the
mirror---your friends will
soon leave you, if they
haven’t already---the drugs,
the drink, the razorblades &
the pistol in the sink---they
are all symptoms of this
pathetic cliché that you have
become and worse yet, you
know it---it’s you and only
you---so whatcha gonna do?
“if you complain once more
---“