charlie d.

ode to the tomfoolery of
charlie d.---
i praise ye
d.,
sweet falstaff of this postmodern age
who causes us to cachinnate,
stumbling backward in
ha-ha’s,
be it when you give a guy a box full of
hornets, aptly marked
“H,”
or sit across the table from an attractive lawyer,
visibly sweating profusely from your armpits,
telling her that you are a “full on rapist”
(misunderstanding that you were supposed to tell her
you were a “philanthropist”)---
all in the attempt to gain her already lost
affection.

most recently in the years you have spent
as the butt of many jokes & jabs by your
it’s always sunny in philadelphia
cohorts,
one can see only a unique magic which comes with
the tone of your voice
when ecstatically announcing the creation of your
“kitten mittons,”
or
beating fruits & batting tomatoes with
your “rat stick,”
which wrapped in chains & full of long rusty nails
sticking out
every which way,
would most certainly do the job when you go back down to
the basement of
paddy’s
in order to kill off all the rats that you can.

i submit to the comedic jury,
that your special brand of antics stands taller
than the likes of richards as “kramer” or
kaufman as “latka.”

thanks you charlie for the laughter,
whether on it’s always sunny or
elsewhere,
please keep it coming.