disclaimers

i am the lord your god & all that is wrong
in the world has been spawned by a fallen angel of whom
i created so that he would tempt humankind into madness---
if you have a bone to pick, please pick it with him,
for that is his purpose,
a purpose which is an integral part of my overall plan,
a plan wherein you & you
alone
are still a vitally important character---
yes,
so keep on worshipping me
though you have never met me
keep on telling others about me
though you have never spoken to me
keep on condemning those that do not believe in me
though you have only read a book which others wrote about me
or burn in the place that i created to
absolve myself any responsibility in this
venture.

i am the president of your country & all that is wrong in the world
comes from other countries that our country
will slowly but surely,
neutralize or eliminate---
the responsibility in this venture lies with those that
elected me
through a purely democratic, uncorrupted & free electoral process---
those who hold lesser positions under me
function at smaller levels but in a similar fashion
to perpetuate the systematic bureaucracy which my single face represents---
please report to them if you have a problem with the way things are
running,
i’ll be at camp david if you need me.

i am the ceo of your company & all that is wrong with the world
has been produced by those that do not function as tightly
knit as our own---
these other companies pay their workers much less than you are paid
(even though you have never worked at these other companies so you have no
frame of reference)
these other companies force their workers to undergo conditions that you cannot even
fathom
(even though your swear that you have read about bosses who treat their workers better than you are currently being treated yourself)
this company makes profit for all of us &
(um, ok)
if you have any problems with your job or how you are being treated
then i can refer you to the proper person in
human resources
who can certainly help you with your issues---
i assure you that the harder we work,
the happier the shareholders will be &
the more of our money we will be able to funnel through
wall street
so that we will generate revenue as a company
in order to better all of our lives,
workers, supervisors & managers alike
(right)
so that each one of us can come closer every day to living that
american dream.