orwell’s moustache

the father of big brother
whose face can be found on the cover of
animal farm or nineteen eighty-four,
his two most popular literary achievements---
he stares back at us with a moustache---
a pencil moustache that seems to be grown
thicker than a No. 2,
so, maybe we could call it a magic marker moustache
or perhaps a Sharpie moustache---
regardless, a man has to wonder what inspires other men,
most importantly,
geniuses of an age,
to sport these little rats upon their lip.

orwell must have always looked to his relatives
on the occasion of any gathering
to be constantly holding his upper lip inside his mouth
as if anxious to say something or
conversely,
wanting to keep quiet (so much so that he needed to
button it).

and though he has not been remembered for his choice in
facial hair aesthetics,
one cannot deny that the impulse to grow a little rat on the
face hasn’t ceased as the years have passed---
still amidst the men on the streets,
the chevrons move to & fro as the wind blows, the
fu manchus decorate fight clubs across the nation, the
lampshades & walruses & painter’s brushes all can be
excused for keeping some men warm during cold months,
but not many don the toothbrush anymore,
since a certain german homicidal maniac drove it out of
style
round the middle of the last century.

all these men don’t find the maintenance of a moustache to be
a problem---for if they were just lazy, letting the beard go like
the rest of us,
then they’d be able to say that they just didn’t get around to it---
but the fact remains, there are men
who make the effort to shave round that thin thin line that
traces the jaw, extending from the sideburns to the
chin (like the fat guy from smash mouth)---
and whether they are trying to attract a woman or a man,
they are making a statement to us all---
that there is something to be said for leaving a little rat
on one’s face.

internet questionnaires say that some women find moustaches to be
signs of maturity, or perhaps a sign of an aggressive male who will
take charge,
even further, some go on to say that moustaches are a sign of
individuality,
because it takes a unique individual to walk around with a rat on his
face.

others state that moustaches are creepy,
and that those like the one john waters wears
signify child molesters or at best,
men that would be looking for old panties in your
basement.

despite it all,
from bronson, gandhi, selleck, nietzsche, dali & einstein,
to mercury, king, cohen, lee, and the likes of will ferrell as
the infamous “ron burgundy,"
it
seems
the
stache
is
here
to
stay.