Siegel

By delapruch

Wed, 16 Nov 2011
  • 506 reads
1 comments
 

follow in his footsteps
all you ethical people
writhing within the established
lie-spewing conglomerate
of greed &
sickness.

follow in the wake of his want for a
reasonable talk with those in
oakland
before the pigs came marching in,
understand that he was part of it &
chose to throw it all down the toilet
where it belongs.

understand the choice to put a
blatantly obvious need for
justice
(amidst those that would like things to
remain the same)
before a career & before the friendship with
the mayor,
which spanned many years.

what matters now is that you
can get up in the morning &
continue to get on your knees in the attempt to
suck off every suit on your way to the
top,
or, that you take a stand with the rest of us
who have had enough.

thank you mr. siegel for showing oakland
what it is like to care,
when surrounded by those who enjoy the act of
raping &
pillaging the rest of us.

Certificate U
Poem
Other Non-fiction

Comments

Submitted by scratch on
Strong sentiments and strongly held I believe. At the end it felt like I was in a silent, crowded bar, mouth wide open and staring at the swing door as you made your departure. Will a cheer go up and we'll all follow you outside....? Just a couple of observations if I may. Please write “and” and not “&”. There is a strong literal narrative running through the piece but perhaps you could give some opportunity for the reader to interpret, e.g. “follow in his footsteps all you ethical people writhing within the established lie-spewing conglomerate of greed & sickness.” Delete “lie-spewing” - your subsequent fourth stanza makes plain the moral decrepitude that you desire to expose and the exponential creation of rage would be all the more effective if the reader came to the conclusion for themselves I think. Please remember that this is only my personal and subjective opinion. Overall a good write, Well done. Scratch.