unrealistic demands

didn’t think that living again
was an option, after having drained
out every last bit like the puss n’ blood
from a zit & the extract dripping down
your once-young face reminds
us all that you’re a fine disgrace
what with your
want for it all to get better &
your
unrealistic demands
on the people around you
damning those who might even consider
loving you but
the true be told is the one you hold
deep within your most honest place &
there
you know that “love” is a charade anyway,
because this illusion of free will is
one that you invested so much in for oh so
long &
when it all came to &
the gig was up, it just didn’t ring like it
used to,
the first kiss from the first spring fuck
just didn’t make you shiver like it all
was supposed to &
now, shriveling up inside &
wrinkling on the exterior
you want the next person you meet to
bring you back to where you were
when things were better,
but isn’t this the most selfish &
the least possible of outcomes?
so,
who do you fool in this venture but
yourself,
for making the effort.