Motivation

Do you remember the first time you tried?

The first time you screwed up and someone moved you to fix it.

The broken house, the mess you made, your unfinished business,

the you can't quit just yet.

Do you remember?

I am having trouble, and yet I remember my childhood accurately

There were conglomerates of people there,

with faces I can still sketch and voices I don't need a recorder for

I remember the details of plot and summary,

the plot never too intricate because everyone was afraid of

hurting me. There was so much that had happened before I came.

The life I entered lacked 1. a father 2. happy parents 3. financial stability

There were secrets like lies that were combed through my hair like conditioner

I wore it out in the open but no one bothered to tell me straight

To tell me why it was important to go on,

So when it did happen,

When the world did fall apart and I wanted to remember how one finds the strength to rebuild

I cannot.

I can only think of broken houses, the mess I made, the unfinished business I have in the next room

I've heard tales of troubled souls, and I am scared for

them. Because they lacked the energy

today the push is hard to find.