wash yer moof oot, ya clarty sod ..

I am sitting on the Aberdeen to Edinburgh Waverly train. It's been a gorgeous visit, and l have to get back to work at The Sleeping Beauty Ballet. Got fab seat, nice n peaceful. Bit fruit, cup tea, look oot the windie.

Uh oh ..

Here they come. The lads that have been off shore for 3 weeks! Need to expel some energy and body functions.

'Hurs a fuckin' purfect seat. Sut doon. Al be guttin' thu fuckin' drinks in, eh luds'.

The voice was of a 40 year old. The future content was of a teenage boy, an ignorant, loud mouthed one at that.

'Quack. Gut thut porn book oot! That wummin' needs alook!'

Fecksake .. gie me peace.

2 hours later ..

I heard awwwwl about this numpty's sex life. His boss's halitosis. His wife's fat arse. How barrie a kee bub is when he's pissed. The joys of a good fart. How many times he had a wank in a week!

Boys. Boys.

Come on.

Next time you feel like bumpin' yer gums, try n consider other folk, eh? That coulda bin yer maw listenin' to that verbal diarrhea ..