Seven Days Frozen

Cherry

By Ed Crane

Fri, 22 Jan 2016
  • 2191 reads
9 comments
 

Landscapes turn slowly

monochrome. Trodden

paths, granite hard, dried

in bitter air. Familiar greens

of leaves darker, dulled

and blackened. Grass bows

its blades in deference to

the power of frost which

coats them every night.

 

Steel hard blue sky offers

no respite and frozen berries

no food for fluffed up birds,

silently bearing up with hope.

 

On open fields, sealed with

an icy kiss, Deer roam, trailing

steamy breath, testing earth

with cloven blows for signs of

yielding and a meagre morsel.

 

Rabbits dig deep venturing

out only when desperate.

Buzzards circle over stilled

fields and skeletal trees on

look-out, knowing they are

the only winners of winter.

Certificate U
Poem
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Oh, it made me feel cold, cold, but also a pleasure to be taken there even though the landscape so dulled and hard.  You brring out so many different aspects. Is it based on a particular location?
This week, we have had some real delights in hoar frost though – amazing to see leaves edged with sparkling white needles! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I'm pleased this meant something to you. It kind of describes the way things are in the place where I walk the dog. I feel sorry for the deer in the fields, which are half covered with frozen water at the moment.

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Harsh and bleak. Cold and frigid. I loved the hardiness of the buzzards 'winning'. A final nail.

I thought in these lines that the focus was less intense. Possibly that 'bows' already hints at deference so no need to repeat.

'Grass bows

its blades in deference to

the power of frost which

coats them every night.'

A very fine poem.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I know what you mean about using deference. I had a little play with taking it out, but for the moment I can't think of a way to make it read smoothly without it. Maybe I could use:

Grass bows in deference

to the power of frost which

coats them every night.'

 

I'll work on that

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

I love the idea of a field being sealed with an icy kiss. I could just imagine the grass instantly frosted at the pinch of a kiss. Lovely writing, Ed.

Bee

Submitted by Ed Crane on

Good to see you back. I knowwhat you mean about the grass instantly frosting at a kiss ..... maybe I've been watching too many Walt Disney films? laugh

(especially Bambi?)

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Goodness this is beautiful!

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I'm pleased you think so!