Message (Rejected)

I typed you a message, but decided it best not to send it.
The nicer I am to you the more cruelly you treat me
And if this is the way you want our lives to be
I'll delete my message and take time and patience to amend it.
I'll begin by deleting the five little kisses I added.
Then I will strip away 'love' and replace it with 'from'.
Silent and blind, this message of love becomes numb,
Like an unwrapped gift, receipt in bag, unpadded.
I'll replace the music in my laugh with echoing silence,
Perhaps then you will learn to be happy with who I am.
Maybe you will believe that I am really a strong man
When I dispense with flowers and instead I bring you violence.
I'll love you deep down but I'll pretend not to give a damn,
Until it is true and I lose that last shred of innocence.