Tea break

By EmilyBell

Tue, 22 Dec 2009
  • 711 reads
2 comments
 

"Someone keeps looking at me."

"Really?"

"Mm, man over there, a few tables back."

"Oh well, I hope he likes what he sees then."

"He's doing it again now."

"Well you must be gawping back if you can tell he is."

"I am not! I just can't help noticing."

"OK, so do you like what you see then?"

"He's all right I suppose, the only thing I notice is him looking."

"Funny that."

"Look are you trying to tell me I'm imagining it? Turn round - over there -"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's rude to stare. Drink up"

- -

"Hmm. Charming."

"Now what?"

"He's just got up and gone."

"What did you expect?"

"Well I don't know really but after all that looking, it makes me feel a bit..."

"You react too much."

"It's how I am though, I -"

"Let's go."

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Comments

Submitted by Ewan on
This is good dialogue, with overlaps and interruptions, no confusion over who is saying what and it is, as you say, a fragment. I confess to being intrigued. Why not build a story out of it? Go back, go forward: have someone overhear this conversation and change their life? Anything is possible in this most personal of all possible worlds. regards Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by EmilyBell on
Hello - thanks for that :) I wrote it a couple of months ago while I was studying a course in English grammar which included a lot of spoken examples. I wanted to try to use what I'd learned there, but in a clear enough way that the reader didn't have to struggle too much - true transcripts can be a nightmare to make sense of! I did toy with the idea of expanding it but I'd rather move on. I have one more fragment to post here, then I'll write something new...