The Great Conjunction

In ten minutes it’ll be time. Time to get the show on the road. Hah, it’s all show. This time the location’s right. This time there’s science to explain things. Jupiter and Saturn; the great conjunction. I said to the Chief, I said ‘I know a great conjunction, it’s called “But”’. We’re not making the mistakes we made last time. I mean, a village, a stable, no room at the Inn all that stuff. In Palestine, I mean, why? Why not Rome?

So, you’re asking me, what are you doing this time? Well, I’m not hanging about in the sky above a few drunk sheep herders. Yes, that’s right, I wouldn’t go as far as to say shepherds. No, this time I’m going to be in every household. That’s first world and new world. The rest, well, you know, they don’t have infrastructure. I might get through in a few cities, but no, I don’t think the third world is in the market for – no, I won’t say it out loud, it’s bad luck, to say it before I “go live” with streaming visuals.

Yes, well, but what about the big event itself? Where will that take place, you ask? There were lots of candidates, if you’d asked me a century or two ago, it would have been London, no question. Fifty years ago? Washington, of course. The top man decided he wanted a place with more influence in the world. I thought he meant Moscow, but no. There were long discussions about, you know, the sequel referencing the original blockbuster. Maybe a pig-byre in a little village outside Wuhan. But once bitten twice shy, you know. Anyhow, it looks like the other team beat us to that one, a year ago. The focus groups all wanted Beijing, but we’ve got the inside skinny, our people in China think it’s as solid as rotten cheese. They say what’s going to happen there will be like Glasnost and Perestroika with jingle bells on. Haha.

So, it’s going to be North Korea. Yep, that’s what I said. Got a tyrant in charge, that’ll be good for the baby-killing optics. People are always making a flight south, too. There’s your original blockbuster reference, right there. Buckle up, pilgrims, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.