The Majestic Herds of Hairstylists

It is not often, these days - outside the more popular and notorious Mediterranean holiday resorts - to see an entire massive herd of hairstylists as they sweep majestically across the beaches in search of drinking establishments.

Of course, there was a time when the majestic herds would range far and wide across the wide-open plains and prairies around some of our more established British cities. But with increasing suburban spread, such times are long gone now. The only wild hairstylists one sees these days are the small packs that haunt our entertainment districts after dark. They are easily recognisable by their habit of wearing clothing entirely unsuitable for the prevailing weather conditions and their loud raucous mating cries as they stumble from one entertainment emporium to the next.

Often, though, it is possible to follow the spoor of one of these packs; the odd dropped chip wrapper, burger box, emptied vodka bottle, or discarded make-up materials, in order to track them down to the special clubs where their pre-mating displays and dances take place.

Often, hairstylist-watching enthusiasts (called 'strokers') will have built their carefully camouflaged hides in the back alleys behind these clubs. A place where the 'strokers' can secrete themselves as they observe the hairstylists and their hastily-chosen 'studs' go about their mating rituals.

Later, at the 'strokers' meeting clubs they will swap anecdotes, photographs and even films recorded in these hides, of the hairstylists indulging in their mating habits in order to build up as full a picture as possible of the habits and lifestyles of these still poorly-understood creatures.

The First 'Little Frigging in the Wold' book is available here for the Kindle.