The Count's Lament

"Hey! Who used up the last of the blood and left the empty container in the refrigerator?"

The count slammed the refrigerator door and sat down at the kitchen table.

"It's not like I'm asking for much," he said, reaching for the box of cereal. "Count Chocula? Very funny! The castle is full of comedians. It's slander. I should sue!"

"You can't sue, dear," said his wife. "You're a fictitious character. You remember what the solicitor said? Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Now finish your coffee. You're running late."

"People are making a fortune off my name and I have to get my scrawny ass out of bed every night to purge the fatted calf. Where's the justice in that? And where are the kids this evening? Do they even care that I work my fangs off to keep that refrigerator stocked. And what thanks do I get? Empty containers!"

"Hurry up," said his wife. "The sun will be up in a few hours. Remember what happened to Uncle Victor when the sun caught him loafing? It took us weeks to get his ashes out of the carpet."

The count then flew out the kitchen window shaking his head.

“Eternity ain’t all its cracked up to be.” thought the Count. “It’s taking forever.”