Danger vs. Danger - The Betty Chronicles

“What are you doin’?” said Craven.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” said the man.

“You’re scraping my name off the door.”

“Then that’s what I’m doing,” said the scraper.

“Would you mind tellin’ me why?” said Craven.

“I’m just doing what the nice lady inside told me to do,” said the man. "She said, ‘scrape it all off, and make it look like this.’”

The man handed Craven a sheet of paper in Betty Danger’s handwriting.

“Danger & Danger - Private Investigators,” said Craven.

”What was wrong with Double Danger - Private Investigators?” said Craven.

”The lady inside said it was stupid,” said the man. ”She said it sounds like you two were out to cause trouble instead of fixing it. And how no one consulted her about it in the first place, even though she‘s a fifty-fifty partner and all.”

”She said all that?”

”Yeah, she did,” said the man ”And she‘s right, too. A deal is a deal. Till death do you part.”

“Well,” said Craven, “In this new Danger & Danger sign, which Danger am I? The first Danger or the second Danger?”

How should I know?” said the man. “I’m not the boss. Ask the lady inside.”

”She told you she was the boss?” said Craven.

”No,” said the man. ”I just guessed. She‘s was what I’d call self-assured.”

”You mean pushy, huh?” said Craven.

”Nah,” said the man. ”She‘s a peach. She told me what to do and I’m doing it. It was all very nice.”

“She didn’t give you any kind of hint about who’s first on the door?” said Craven. “Like, ladies first?”

“No,” said the man. “She didn’t.”

“Fine,” said Craven. “I’ll just have to take a guess.”

“Well, I can guess who’s not wearin’ the pants in this operation.”

“Hey!” said Craven. “What are you sayin’?”

“Only that any self respecting gentleman worth his salt would have marched himself into that office and made a polite inquiry as to the nature of the afore mentioned sign. Instead of approaching it like a frightened schoolboy who’s afraid of the new school teacher.”

“Me afraid of Betty?” said Craven. “That’s a laugh. We’ll just see who’s wearin’ who’s pants around here! Outta my way!”

“Just a minute,” said the man. “You might want wash up first. You got some chocolate sauce all over your face. That must have been some chocolate ice cream soda. Where did you get it? John’s candy store down the street.”

Craven got out his handkerchief and made a few swipes.

“Yeah,” said Craven. “They make the best ones. With whipped cream and a cherry. But you have to ask for the cherry. He don’t just give them away to anybody. I even got me some liquorice sticks, too. You want some?”

“No,” said the man. “It’ll spoil my appetite.”

“Your loss,” said Craven. “They're pretty yummy. Nice work on the sign, by the way. I’ll see you later. I have to go in to work.”

I hope she don’t let hem carry a gun, thought the sign painter. I really do.