McYorkshire Pudding (IP)

By hudsonmoon

Fri, 14 Sep 2012
  • 2134 reads
12 comments
 

“What is this?”

“It’s Yorkshire pudding, sir,” said the waiter.

“No whipped cream?”

“On Yorkshire Pudding?”

“Well, what do I put on it. It looks so ordinary sitting there all by itself.”

“Why, with your mutton drippings, of course,” said the waiter.”

“Who’s mutton drippings?”

“Yours of course,” said the waiter. “The drippings from the gravy on your plate, just spoon it on and delight in a lovely English tradition.”

“You got any bananas?”

“We have, sir,”

“And chocolate sauce?”

“We have that as well,” said the waiter. “But if you plan on doing what I suspect, there’s no way in bloody hell I’ll allow it. Why, if my granfather were alive he’d give you a sound trouncing, sir. Now I suggest you eat your Yorkshire pidding in the normal fashion as befits a gentleman. You are a guest in our country and I deem it in your best interest to act accordingly.”

“And a scoop of ice cream. Vanilla.”

“You’ll get a scoop of gravy and like it, sir,” said the waiter. “Or I’ll see you to the door.”

“What seems to be the trouble here, George?” said the maître d'.”

“The American gentleman here--”

“We don’t profile here at this establishment, George,” interrupted the maître d'. “We discussed this at last weeks meeting. He is simply a patron. No different from anyone else.”

“But, sir, the gentleman wishes to douse his Yorkshire pudding with bananas, chocolate sauce and whipped cream.”

“It’s people like you Americans that are killing the great traditions of Europe, sir,” said the maître d'. “Now I suggest you eat your Yorkshire pudding in the traditional manner, or you can just leave it unmolested.”

“You got a McDonald’s in the area? I’m could go for a McFlurry right about now. Or, perhaps, you could order one and have it brought in? And could you have ‘em super-size it?”

The waiter and the maître d' retreated to the
kitchen where they spent several minutes holed up in the walk-in refrigerator screaming obscenities.

Certificate U
Story
Humour

Comments

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New hudsonmoon Hello! Just read this story for the (IP) good one fro this week. Course could have jam on,leftovers we did fill us all up! Encouraged me try! write one maybe. Chocolate sauce,and whipped cream, bananas nice bit rich! Great humour. julie x

Submitted by hudsonmoon on
HI, Julie, how you getting along? I'm glad you enjoyed. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Rich

 

Submitted by Highhat on
This is almost blasphemy Rich- watch out! But mostly take care.. ;)Pia

Submitted by hudsonmoon on
lol, Pia. What do I know? I've never been west of the Mississippi. But I'm supposed to be going to Lndon next summer. I'm just having some fun. Rich

 

Submitted by Highhat on
and what do I know living east of Greenwich where we speak and eat like Great Danes and never touch Yorkshire Pudding but we do like gravy. I thought it was really fun and you stole my idea- I was going to write something seen from a foreigners point of view too but I can't beat this one. LOL ;)Pia

Submitted by hudsonmoon on
lol. I base all I know about the UK on the msical Oiver. Everyone wears muttonchops and top hats. And when I visit, I'm sewing my money into the lining of my jacket. Pickpocket on every corner, according to the movies. And movies don't lie. It's against the law. I read that somewhere. Good week-end to you, Pia. Regards, Rich

 

Submitted by denni1 on
This was really funny. If you come to Edinburgh, we eat deep fried marrs bars, and haggis !! Yuck !! Dx

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new hudsonmoon Sorry! long letter of news maybe. Hello! Well busy! Very pleased this morning, tried hearing aid broke,got repaired,hospital, repair shop,not doing old? like me model,check ears, mentioned not looking hear well,young girl,found deep wax,mentioned go gp,use oil,thought perforated one years back! Drops given dr listened me,quite correct said scarred healed over! no mention oil,soften as Sodim Bicarb,reminded me of soda used in sink,whatever, years back,if same,put me on three weeks,Ray had come,and listen and write down,as couldn't wear hearing aid can't hear then. Went back no t.v shouting make me hear,naughty! didn't hear say come back! oh! ready for syringing or carry on three more weeks! may come out, getting fed up,Ray said know now! But had phone nurse to do appointment,went all wrong,nurse furious can't have syringed,don't now if a perforation,checked! Went back other day,nurse somewhere else had to go,young male nurse good,now wax still there,so be removed hospital by micro suction pump better told! Thrilled put in h/aid can hear,min isn't good if out, not holding arm then deafish a bit. So course we couldn't get London The Wheatsheaf' or on two buses,me,crossing busy roads,if he didn't take me I did eery! not hearing. But greatly improved now! Phew! finished at last! I was Birthday shopping yesterday,from weeks back presents,mine went into quick shop! meet me,moved couldn't hear anyone trying get past me,bought nice jumpers,wonderful hear h/aid now. Want get back 'Singing for pleasure' all doing, Great Simon Grey missed all,we doing September 29th. Also daughter from our 40 Ruby years,bought voucher, hair makeover go,dress up like vintage costumes she had paid,he won't like,so she is coming,say rock n roll,maybe skirt with pink felt poodle on sewed,and music notes etc daughter and I tried. Or long beautiful like crinoline dress,extra birthday surprise,years ago! came by post! then,on here,highest my readings beautiful,so had put date back further,as paid loose money. Set phone back again not yet ends September end. Two big cries,'Jazz' neighbour's cat have regularly, 'Green Eyes' poem,now 'For Ever Faithfu' poem after big shop rail fall,there by my side,all time Ray bring in when get's papers. All well now long time,break form here a while. Watching H.R.H. Duke of Cambridge Prince William and Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton. Loving couple! Caring both of them,like late Diana I loved. H.R.H. Prince Harry is 28th birthday tomorrow,pray for him! Loving caring Prince's,comes from his mother 'late Diana. whom! loved and adored books and all have,and Ray took me to London see sea of flowers when shed died. Got replica ring £5 2nd one,much bigger from told of shop! After terrible crash! put small one then away £10. Until H.R.H. Duke of Cambridge Prince William,'On Thee I Wed On Mummy's Ring,got beauty £5 just like it gorgeous! big sparkly,but wear other cheap ones flowers people like to. Received beautiful cards,from H.M The Queen,owing,sending her Ma'am kind words for 6o years jubilee,the Prince William,first wedding anniversary! Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Prince William and Duchess of Cambridge of them photo, wow! finally one for his 30th birthday paper said send some, beautiful worded photo him,on his own my goodness,well followed all in books way back,and read all 'Diana' bits given and have. Had big Royal books huge coloured plates costumes out this world handed down from dad died,binders going mouldy all 'Kings and Queens of countries can't find again, amazing miss them,now card from H.M.The Queen six wonderful jubilee photos,and H.R.H. Prince Philip Duke of Edingburgh words written,my loyalty my goodness me. Closing for now so you say your coming London is it I see. Just written tried poem,thanks encouragement to try,(IP) after reading yours.needs trimming up a lot. take care! Oh! used have in Yorkshire an Aunt lived fried bananas ice-ream and ice-cream too nice. What is the weather like there! Once return reply from Buckingham Palace Lady In Waiting,re; Diana's divorce,when like our's was being difficult help Diana. Buried on my birthday 6th September awful time watch! some of it,go out and pray at vigil Brighton then,had to come back! Morning pulled curtains closed put photo of Diana,in window,after dreadful nightmare,same time,Ray said go back to sleep! up shift work early,put t.v. on came told me,all true! terrible day! Same time as died couldn't believe it. Magazines,given me,books bought few! thimble,bell red bow! c.d d.v.d have. Poster late Diana still then by Arthur Edwards. Sorry long letter. Hope your well. Damn computer etc,wonky here! and all while! x cavalcaderl julie x

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new hudsonmoon Sorry! long letter of news maybe. Hello! Well busy! Very pleased this morning, tried hearing aid broke,got repaired,hospital, repair shop,not doing old? like me model,check ears, mentioned not looking hear well,young girl,found deep wax,mentioned go gp,use oil,thought perforated one years back! Drops given dr listened me,quite correct said scarred healed over! no mention oil,soften as Sodim Bicarb,reminded me of soda used in sink,whatever, years back,if same,put me on three weeks,Ray had come,and listen and write down,as couldn't wear hearing aid can't hear then. Went back no t.v shouting make me hear,naughty! didn't hear say come back! oh! ready for syringing or carry on three more weeks! may come out, getting fed up,Ray said know now! But had phone nurse to do appointment,went all wrong,nurse furious can't have syringed,don't now if a perforation,checked! Went back other day,nurse somewhere else had to go,young male nurse good,now wax still there,so be removed hospital by micro suction pump better told! Thrilled put in h/aid can hear,min isn't good if out, not holding arm then deafish a bit. So course we couldn't get London The Wheatsheaf' or on two buses,me,crossing busy roads,if he didn't take me I did eery! not hearing. But greatly improved now! Phew! finished at last! I was Birthday shopping yesterday,from weeks back presents,mine went into quick shop! meet me,moved couldn't hear anyone trying get past me,bought nice jumpers,wonderful hear h/aid now. Want get back 'Singing for pleasure' all doing, Great Simon Grey missed all,we doing September 29th. Also daughter from our 40 Ruby years,bought voucher, hair makeover go,dress up like vintage costumes she had paid,he won't like,so she is coming,say rock n roll,maybe skirt with pink felt poodle on sewed,and music notes etc daughter and I tried. Or long beautiful like crinoline dress,extra birthday surprise,years ago! came by post! then,on here,highest my readings beautiful,so had put date back further,as paid loose money. Set phone back again not yet ends September end. Two big cries,'Jazz' neighbour's cat have regularly, 'Green Eyes' poem,now 'For Ever Faithfu' poem after big shop rail fall,there by my side,all time Ray bring in when get's papers. All well now long time,break form here a while. Watching H.R.H. Duke of Cambridge Prince William and Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton. Loving couple! Caring both of them,like late Diana I loved. H.R.H. Prince Harry is 28th birthday tomorrow,pray for him! Loving caring Prince's,comes from his mother 'late Diana. whom! loved and adored books and all have,and Ray took me to London see sea of flowers when shed died. Got replica ring £5 2nd one,much bigger from told of shop! After terrible crash! put small one then away £10. Until H.R.H. Duke of Cambridge Prince William,'On Thee I Wed On Mummy's Ring,got beauty £5 just like it gorgeous! big sparkly,but wear other cheap ones flowers people like to. Received beautiful cards,from H.M The Queen,owing,sending her Ma'am kind words for 6o years jubilee,the Prince William,first wedding anniversary! Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Prince William and Duchess of Cambridge of them photo, wow! finally one for his 30th birthday paper said send some, beautiful worded photo him,on his own my goodness,well followed all in books way back,and read all 'Diana' bits given and have. Had big Royal books huge coloured plates costumes out this world handed down from dad died,binders going mouldy all 'Kings and Queens of countries can't find again, amazing miss them,now card from H.M.The Queen six wonderful jubilee photos,and H.R.H. Prince Philip Duke of Edingburgh words written,my loyalty my goodness me. Closing for now so you say your coming London is it I see. Just written tried poem,thanks encouragement to try,(IP) after reading yours.needs trimming up a lot. take care! Oh! used have in Yorkshire an Aunt lived fried bananas ice-ream and ice-cream too nice. What is the weather like there! Once return reply from Buckingham Palace Lady In Waiting,re; Diana's divorce,when like our's was being difficult help Diana. Buried on my birthday 6th September awful time watch! some of it,go out and pray at vigil Brighton then,had to come back! Morning pulled curtains closed put photo of Diana,in window,after dreadful nightmare,same time,Ray said go back to sleep! up shift work early,put t.v. on came told me,all true! terrible day! Same time as died couldn't believe it. Magazines,given me,books bought few! thimble,bell red bow! c.d d.v.d have. Poster late Diana still then by Arthur Edwards. Sorry long letter. Hope your well. Damn computer etc,wonky here! and all while! x cavalcaderl julie x

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello Huds, The Brits are coming! Moya
 

Submitted by Denzella on
You were warned! Moya
 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on
lol. Noted, Moya. I was thinking John Cleese-Fawlty Towers when I wrote it. And am loving your checkout pieces, Moya.