Parcel for you..Part 38

 

The receptionist pulled out a disapproving, judgy look, glossed over with a fake smile, her eyes lingered over Spencer suspiciously then she left the room with Vanessa feeling as if she’d done something wrong.

 

‘Well that made me feel uncomfortable. Do you think those receptionists just gossip about the guests all day?’

 

Spencer was flicking through the channels on the television. ‘Yes, they do. It’s human nature to be curious and if their job is a boring one then their minds fill in the gaps with whatever information is available and amusing to talk about.’ 

 

Vanessa sat on the chair with the tray on her lap and began eating. ‘All those things she said about having people up in the rooms.’

 

‘If you’ve rented the room then why can’t you treat it as you would your home and have guests around?’

 

Vanessa checked her watch. ‘I suppose it’s getting late and she might think it’s something sexual, some sort of an orgy or something.’

 

‘Yes, she might think that but we’re not the type to do that are we..although look what I’ve found,’ Spencer gestured with his head towards the television screen. He’d paused his search on some sort of porn channel and watched briefly with an expressionless face. ‘You know sometimes the noises on these sorts of programmes are a bit like animals,’ he said, turning the sound up. 

 

Vanessa shot up, she slammed down her tray and snatched the remote control from Spencer’s hand. In haste she began scrolling but there were so many similar channels in the same vicinity, channel numbers four hundred and twenty one to four hundred and thirty all falling into the same category. Wincing, she simply turned the television off and then chewed slowly on the mouthful of food she'd been halfway through eating. ‘Can’t you find another programme,’ she said calmly.

 

‘Of course, I just wanted to see what all the channels have to offer. Can we watch Ancient Aliens?’

 

‘Yes,’ she nodded and handed back the remote, ‘you find it. I need to eat this before the man comes.’

 

Spencer turned to face her. ‘How do you know it’s a man, did they say that on the phone?’

 

‘Well..I suppose I don’t. I just assumed.’

 

 

‘I’m going to call that out as sexism.’

 

‘Okay,’ she shrugged, ‘I suppose it is.’ It suddenly occurred to her what Spencer had said about the noises on these sorts of programmes. Was he regularly watching porn on his laptop? She’d never thought to check his search history, it felt too much like prying.

 

‘Is that nice? I could have some of the burger bun, here on the bed while I watch Ancient Aliens.’

 

‘Yes,’ Vanessa removed the top half of the bun and scraped off the mayonnaise, ‘here you go.’

 

‘When I get my passport, we could go to Puma Punka, couldn't we, we could meet Annie there.’

 

The reality of this idea seemed as far away in Vanessa’s mind as the concept of ancient aliens themselves but she agreed nevertheless. It seemed obvious to her now that Spencer had watched an awful lot of episodes from this channel. She wondered how healthy it was for her husband to be absorbing so much information from one niche source or possibly two sources, an Ancient Aliens and porn fusion. Spencer was in many ways so similar to the average human husband, perhaps there was no need for them to have that argument after all.

 

Waiting for ‘the man’ to arrive and unable to follow up her nice dinner with an indulgent bath with the expensive bubble bath she’d packed, there was an overarching need to indulge herself so she ordered another gin and tonic. Previously she’d always held back on having much to drink because Spencer was in some ways like a child needing somebody to be responsible at all times.

 

Spencer’s eyes diverted from the pyramids and flying saucers just for a second. ‘Another drink?’

 

‘Yes, it’s almost my birthday and this hotel feels a bit depressing, especially as we’re stuck, waiting.’

 

‘I like it here and I don’t understand the concept of a building being depressing.’

 

Vanessa looked around the room and shrugged. ‘I don’t know, compared to the charming little hotels you get abroad, this just feels stale and very unfashionable, most of these British hotels are the same. We’re only here because I couldn’t take you abroad.’

 

‘From what I’ve learned, countries have very different cultures. As a visitor it’s hard to identify the minutiae of other cultures, to identify what’s really fashionable and what’s depressing. Something which you find charming in Tunisia might be depressing to the Tunisians because they view it through a lens of long-term immersion whereas you are merely a visitor and everything is a novelty.’

 

Vanessa took a long swing of her gin and tonic. ‘You’re probably right but I still think this hotel is crap.’

 

‘It’s the same with people. A creepy British man may find himself pairing up with a very attractive foreign lady because she is blind to the minutiae of his character.’

 

Vanessa laughed. ‘I like that, Spencer. You mean she might not be able to detect the creepiness.’

 

‘Yes. I’ve been learning about how people perceive each other, how they might perceive me. I’m more than foreign but I’m trying not to be creepy. I read that it’s one of the worst things and that those men don’t get wives or girlfriends.’

 

Vanessa went up to the window and looked out. ‘You’re not creepy but you are strange, you’re my prosthetic geezer.’

 

‘I don’t like that term and I don’t want to be strange.’

 

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out quite like it sounded. I think you’re perfect for me at this point in my life.’

 

‘Marriage is for life. I think that drink is making you different, Vanessa, perhaps you should stop drinking now, you don’t want to wake up ill on your birthday.’

 

She noticed a black van parked in the bays closest to the lobby and she could just make out a man inside and a small tool box on the passenger seat beside him. ‘I think he’s here, the engineer,’ she said, ‘I’m going to go down and meet him. I’ll be straight back. Don’t leave the room and don’t change the channel, Spencer.’

 

It was drizzling as she rushed out to the carpark. The man was just getting out of his van. ‘Hello, are you here for me? My husband is a Cybermate,’ she said, cringing at her choice of words. 

 

The man was very dead pan, unfriendly, he didn’t look her in the eye but showed her a serial number on his phone, she recognised it as Spencer’s unique identification number and nodded. The engineer was a very good looking man she realised and they entered the lit area of the hotel reception, her eyes lingered on him for a few seconds. ‘Yes that’s him, Spencer. I’ll take you to our room. He’s not in any pain or anything but we just need him to be fixed.’

 

‘Well he doesn’t feel pain does he.’ The man spoke with a strong Welsh accent.

 

‘Oh, you’re local?’

 

‘Yes. I cover the region.’

 

Vanessa was surprised, she wanted to ask how many like Spencer were living in the region but the man made her feel awkward so she didn’t. Once in the room he examined Spencer’s arm and shoulder and opened up his toolkit. ‘So Mate, how did this happen?’

 

‘Well I fell between two beds and then my wife pulled my arm hard and afterwards I couldn’t move it. We came to celebrate her birthday and she was very keen for us to have an argument or fight because that’s what married couples do.’

 

The engineer took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. ‘So your wife caused this injury during a fight?’

 

‘No,’ said Vanessa, holding out her index finger as if to somehow break off this narrative before it could take hold, ‘it wasn’t like that at all.’

’