September Chills

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Jane Hyphen

Tue, 10 Sep 2019
  • 5630 reads
16 comments
 

 

September

The dread tread 

Of rolling bombs

Loose in the pit

Of my stomach

 

Cold dawn

New term chills

Crack whack jabs

Of hockey sticks

Torture of team picks

 

Grey clothes

Drawing darkness

Daggers in the corridors

Only dirty shelters here

Who and how to be?

 

Heavy Bag

Imprinted shoulder

Hard shoes blood rub

Harsh words blood rush

Teacher’s bloodless glare

 

The final bell

Grab coat, bags

Urban forest scurry

Breath into the front door

Eat drink, curl, numb

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by airyfairy on

Taut, jabbing lines, emphasising the unsettling content.  So clever in its combination of things - it gave me a rolling feeling in the pit of my own stomach when I read about the 'torture of team picks' and reminded me of feeling physically sick when I went back to school in September.  At the same time there's the reflection of violence that stalks the young in the modern 'urban forest'.  And the drawing in of days, the general darkening that comes with autumn.  Great piece.

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks airyfairy. It's strange I still get that feeling in my stomach when I see kids in their new uniforms, especially the young ones just starting secondary. 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Jane,

you've certainly captured the atmosphere of a school day at beginning of a new term.

Jenny. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Jenny. Thank you for commenting. This time of year has such a feeling of new beginnings despite the garden starting to shut down. I must say I'm enjoying the cooler temperatures though..

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

A tough environment when you are sensitive teenagers, and the sneering/bullying by those afraid of themselves losing their place in the popularity, and yes, PE for those who don't enjoy it. It so helps if you find a good group of trusted friends! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Rhiannon, you're so right, eventually most of us find our niche in a school environment and those that don't build up a level of resilience which stays with them into adulthood.  Thanks for commenting.

 

Submitted by celticman on

winer bites early. dark at eight. Just you wait...

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

We're back to summer now celticman but somehow I can still feel those teeth. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

This reminds me of school so badly. You evoke the feeling of a mind made raw.

How is your one who was disappointed by their exam results?

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

That school feeling in your stomach, you never forget it do you. She is fine now, thank you for thinking of her, as time goes on you get a bit of perspective. Personally I think they do too many GCSE subjects and to revise all those different topics at the same time is overwhelming and requires a sort of 'brain split' mentality which not all of us can achieve.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Our poem of the week!  Well done!

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for this Philip x

 

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on

A great read. I feel like a squirrel chasing one stanza, then another, making sure I capture all the puzzle-pieces.

Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Richard thanks for you comment. I am looking at squirrels right now, running along fences with apples in their mouths.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I am glad she is better! It is good you are kind and supporting her - my brothers and I still  remember when our results came, the aweful talks. It's strange, my school we were expected to take as many as we could, had to re take maths and french over and over. But in Scotland, my son is only allowed to take 6! He had to drop French (he is good at languages) in order to do biology, which seems bonkers to me. But I am glad he is not pressured like I was, and your daughter. It seems so WRONG  at the most creative, intense, changing time of one's life to be expected to remember loads of wriitten stuff, which will never be needed again - is like spending ages making keys for doors of rooms in buildings you will never visit. I hope she makes lots of good, beautiful memories instead

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you Di_Hard, I couldn't agree more and I love the key and doors analogy.smiley