Dinner Dance
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By joanne-jellyfish
Thu, 11 Jun 2009
- 962 reads
4 comments
She’s proud in her own way
The rabbit crouched, its resting form
Adorned with carrots on the plate.
I still sense its living warmth.
You can see the field from our house
Where the rabbit once panicked, turned
The fleeting circle of life come back round
Poised motionless, the muscles firmed.
It could have escaped in youth, just once
So long ago. Now it’s aged and still
Condemned to our leftovers, scraped into tins
When our own warmed bellies are good and filled.
Even now I’m sure I see the lightning blur
Of the gunshot, the rabbit slumped, and the fur.
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Comments
Friendly persuasion rather
Friendly persuasion rather than a rant. The half-rhymes are subtly handled and the full rhyme at the end delivered the impact required by the content of the couplet.
Excellent.
Ewan
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Beautifully constructed and
Permalink Submitted by sarah wilson on
Beautifully constructed and evocative. sarah x
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I echo Ewan - the couplet at
I echo Ewan - the couplet at the end has the right 'punch' to it. Margot
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