On Speaking German

Pout. Push out air: ü
Sensual curve of well-versed lips
For a long moment
Savouring the round sound.
Satisfying consonant crunch,
Letters in guttural clumps.
I gather them in the back of my teeth
Tripping over the taut tips of syllables
Linguistic ammunition-
Stumble over them like marbles
At the top of the stairs.
Hiss an angry breath of a scharfes S.
"When you first learn German," my first teacher said brightly,
"you will spit all over the tables."
Lächerlich. Turn the page.
Subtle suggestion in the voice's undulations;
I had been, once; I would have been. If only.
Would should could. So sad. Something half-remembered, lost, not to be made right again.
Air mobile with modals-
Close the book, make at least this a reality.