Woke This Morning And I Was A Fish

Woke up this morning and discovered that I am a fish.  This may not strike you as odd except when I went to bed last night, I was most definitely human. In fact, I believe that for my entire life to this point, a full 37 years, I have been human.

I have my concerns about assuming the life of a fish. First, I've always been someone who is easily seasick and unfortunately this trait has carried over to my new identity. When I first swam into the current, I immediately felt the familiar queasiness. Can fish vomit? I might find out.

I'm worried about lifespan. I really am missing the ability to Google search "expected fish lifespans".  How much time do I have to live a fulfilling fish life?

I don't even know what kind of fish I am. I was always the type to just point and smile at the sushi menu. To think those may have been my cousins. Although I guess nothing to feel bad about, pretty sure a sushi diet is what I'm now in for. At least I'll be thin.

Not sure about the dangers that I may be facing. Fortunately, I do appear to be on the rather large size. But as they say, there is always a bigger fish.  Should I bulk up?  I need to talk to my trainer.

Have I died and this is reincarnation?  Has Nature rewarded or punished me? Should I be satisfied with my fate? I tried to be good as a human. I used to recycle and even cut up those plastic rings that used to come with soda six packs. Although maybe dolphins are now my predators.

What will my girlfriend think? She can be such a dyke. I can just hear her criticizing me for my lack of commitment to my Identity. Jumping into the deep end of a new fad, disrupting not only my life but the lives of everyone around me. Funny, I used to say she needed to douche more, you know, smelled kinda fishy.

The swaying of the waters isn't feeling so rough on the tummy now. Kind of a nice rocking motion.

I'll probably get fired. The first few days, maybe even week, they'll just assume that I'm on vacation. Pamula might bitch about not being told for her record keeping.  What a waste, I was on target to hit my "aspirational goals" for my June review.

But I haven't enjoyed that place, that career, for a while now. Been looking around but didn't have the umph to make a change or take a risk. Was enjoying the steady paycheck and the stable environment. Sometimes life makes the changes for you.

What will my therapist say?  "How does being a fish make you feel?  Is it a wish fulfilled? Do you think this relates to that fishing trip you took with your father when you were young?"

Feeling good now, kind of fun in the current. I'm with a lot of others like me and we're going somewhere to mate. I don't know how I know this but I do and I'm kind of excited. Much more pleasant than my daily hour plus commute, particularly if I'm right about the mating.

I wonder where I am in the world. Would be cool if I was near Australia, that's always been on my bucket list. No reason to assume that I'm near my old place.  I wonder how long it will take the bank to foreclose on me. They'll do well, neighborhood has been gentrifying.

My contract on my cell phone plan was almost up. Will miss the free upgrade. God I miss my phone. I'd Instagram like crazy here.

I'll miss my mother, my siblings, my two nephews. My best friend. I should have kept better in touch. Been near them.  Could my father be here in this fish school now?  I sense that maybe he is and I'm not angry with him anymore. But I don't remember faces clearly. Fading.

This reminds me of running cross country in high school. Flowing together. Running faster than I thought I could. Working too hard to think. But feeling connected to those around me.

The number of fish swimming with me has grown. We're a thick group now and I can't tell how big we are but I think huge. I assume I look like them. Quite beautiful. Silvery and sleek. The swimming is easier, but also faster, like we're creating our own current.  Part of One.  A family. And I feel content.