Waiting~~~Chapter One

“He was my first, Cody. I lied to you. I told you I was a virgin. You even admitted you weren’t, but I just couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry.” Tears filled her grey eyes making her vision foggy and unclear. She couldn’t see his face, but his voice was a cloud of concern.

“Hey, don’t worry. Come here.” She fell against his muscular body and let him hold her for a few minutes in the middle of the woods. Arms wrapped around his waist, her eyes soaked his purple plaid shirt, and she apologized again, this time for getting his shirt wet. “I said, don’t worry, An. Just let it out. It won’t do you any good holdin’ it in.” Her face was buried in his shoulder so that he couldn’t see it. It made him want to cry, seeing her that way, and it made him want to get revenge. Anastasia would hate him forever for that, though, and that was something he could never bear. She was the best friend he had ever had.

“I feel like… I’ve thrown away 2 years of my life that I can never get back.” Cody had never seen her cry before, and she seemed to not want him to see her face. He held her close, not wanting to upset her even more. “I feel so stupid.”

“I know, An. I ain’t ever been with anyone that long, but I can see how…it would affect you. Don’t feel stupid. You’re only human; you can’t be strong twenty-four/seven.”

She wanted to be. She hated tears; they were weak, but she just couldn’t help it. She couldn’t speak of him, hear about him, or have anything to do with him without feeling a lump in her throat. Her eyes ached and she wondered where all that water was coming from and if she’d ever cry herself empty. Wiping her cheeks dry with her long sleeves, she stepped away from him. The leaves murmured roughly under his feet as he followed her through the green forest. “You know I’m always here for you, right?”

She nodded. “Thank you for sticking with me through everything. You’re the most amazing friend a girl could ask for.”

[i]Friend…[/i] The word stung a little bit, but he knew he had to let it go for now, for her. He also knew what she said wasn’t completely true. He could have been better, but this was also better left unsaid. He knew he was her best friend also, though, so that, at least, was comforting.

“I could have… I could have done it, Cody. I could have made it through without seeing him for a while. Why wasn’t he willing to sacrifice anything for me?”

“I think,” he offered carefully, “that you’re tryin’ to risk too much. You’re almost 16; live your life.”

She looked up at him, forgetting about the mascara that had run from her eyelashes; he didn’t care anyway. “I—I don’t know how. He changed me.”

“I’ll help you, An. We’re gonna start makin’ you some friends, alright?” She nodded, though they both knew it wasn’t alright. She was terrified, but with perfect timing, Cody pierced her gray eyes with his green, saying, “I get to laugh at you after school tomorrow, right?”

Though she gave him a furious glare, a giggle escaped, and he laughed, causing her to punch him hard on his shoulder. She was smiling though, and he knew she wasn’t really mad, so she said, “I’ll actually be laughing at [i] you, [/i] since the JROTC teachers would shoot you if they saw you laughing.”

“And Mr. Lynn wouldn’t?” It was funny because he really only laughed because it made her laugh. He was marching, too, so there was nothing to really laugh at her for.

She laughed. “No. They don’t care. The band is always crazy at practice, especially this late in the season. I’m surprised we’re even having practice. It’s too cold for that crap.”

Chuckling, he continued walking until they saw the road. “Where are we going?”

He shook his head. “Not my decision, it’s wherever you wanna go.”

She sighed, hating to be the one to choose, and just started walking toward her house. The woods were fairly close to her house, and soon enough, she could see the two story brick house with bluish shingles. There was a vehicle parked in her destined spot, and it was not unfamiliar—a Ford Ranger with a 5 inch lift on 15 by 17 tires. Because a complete sudden and unexpected halt, Cody ran right into her, causing her to almost fall onto the street face first.

“What is wrong?”

She stared at her house that was still at least 300 feet away. “I don’t want to talk to him. I can’t.”

“I’ll come with you.” Again she looked up at him, but this time, she remembered her make up, and moaned, trying to scrub it off.

“He’ll know I’ve been crying! He’ll take that for granted.” Continuing to scrub, it slightly helped with the dampness of fresh tears. “Is it going away?”

Normally, he would have lied. He would have said she looked fine and she could take on the world, but this wasn’t the time, so he said, “Let me get it.” Her nose wrinkled when he licked his thumb and began scrubbing, but he ignored her, and soon, she really did look fine. “Voilà! Beautiful as ever.”

“You’re lying to me,” she insisted, her face still upset, but no tears fell. “I can’t do this, Cody. What in the world could he possibly want from me?” She pondered that, but couldn’t figure it out. They eventually walked up to her house, and Jared stood abruptly when he saw us strolling up the driveway. “Hey.” She tried to sound casual, but Jared actually looked shocked and … upset?

“Hey, I came to give you this stuff.” He held up a box, and she ran to him to grab it. Inside were a pair of jeans, a few shirts, some underwear, and contact solution that she must have left at his house. “Do you have—?”

“Yeah,” she said and turned her back on him, gesturing for Cody to follow her. He did, and as he entered, he glared at Jared and closed the door behind him. Anastasia was already halfway up the stairs when he entered, so he followed quickly up to her room. Once there, he sat on her dark bed and watched her rummage through her drawers for anything of his. She threw out a bathing suit, a pair of jeans, a pair of boxers, a CD, and camouflage hat. They all landed in the middle of her floor, which was carpeted in dark brown to match the dresser, bed, and mirror.

She scooped all of his things that she had found into a small cardboard box, and when she turned around, he could see she was about to break. He could see, too, that she hated that. She felt weak and it embarrassed her. “Can you—”

“Of course,” he said before she even finished, and took the box from her hands. Outside of her room was beautifully painted by her mother a deep red. It almost appeared maroon, but it was because of the sponging pattern they had put into it. Immediately outside her room was the “playroom” as they had called it since they were little, and then there was an open hallway leading downstairs and into her mother’s room.

Her mother caught sight of Cody and called to him from her bed. “Yes, ma’am?” he asked, returning to her door frame.

“Is someone here?” she asked, laying in a brown room much like An’s, only bigger and neater.

“No one important. Excuse me.” He nodded and started again down the stairs. He didn’t want to come face to face with this guy alone.

The door swung open and Cody came into Jared’s view. “Here,” he said shortly, and shoved a cardboard box into his chest. He had started to walk away, but stopped at Jared’s voice.

“You got a problem with me?”

“Just a little.” Gotta love sarcasm.

“What the hell did I do to you? I’ve hardly ever even talked to you—”

“Isn’t it sad that you can make someone despise you even though they’ve hardly ever talked to you? Doesn’t that just eat you up inside? Does it bother you that I just wanna fuckin’ hit somethin’ every time I think of your sick name? Does it bother you that you’re murderin’ her from the inside out? I don’t think you care, and don’t try to pretend you do, because I ain’t gonna fall for it.”

He was silent for a moment, his dark brown eyes blank. It seemed as if he was on a different planet. Cody scoffed. “The things you call people…. Just look in the mirror and you can say the same things, can’t you? Anastasia was your foundation. That’s not right; you’re gonna fall apart, you hear me? The man is supposed to be the rock for the woman. You depended on her. She would’ve left you eventually anyway.”

“Shut up,” he finally muttered.

“Excuse me?” Cody asked, though he knew what he had said.

“I told you to shut the hell up. I’m just gonna go now.” He started down the porch stairs with that, and Cody decided it was best not to say anything. Jared’s steel-toed, brown cowboy boots thumped on the pavement and as he got into his truck, he chucked off his fat, brown Carhartt Jacket, throwing it on the passenger side.

Cody wasn’t necessarily glad that they had broken up, but he now had a chance. He remembered the day she had told him about one of her biggest dreams…

“I’ve always wanted,” she had whispered to him on the bus that day, “to have a friend for a long time, and that good friendship gets better and better until it gradually changes into more. I probably wouldn’t be able to see that my best guy friend liked me, but I’d know when he’d be there for me. I’d realize… ‘He’s the one I want.’ I think it’s more romantic for it to just grow and grow.”

He laughed a little as he headed back up those familiar stairs. 'She probably forgot she ever told me that,' he thought to himself, and he knew she had never expected him to remember. It had meant so much, though, that he had implanted it in his mind so that it would never go away. He would never forget how to be with her the right way. It was all he wanted: to make her happy. But right now, she wasn’t happy, and he had to fix that

He knew as he held her that she might actually be his one day, but until then, he just had to wait. It was worth it; he knew as long as she was happy that he’d be happy, so he continued to comfort her until the tears finally stopped.