A Bit of the Black Stuff

“Frank, wrap that small cut
The blood will congeal
The splinter’s too deep
To tease from the peel
It’s all the wood left
Good grain is bereft
But they’ll manage with rough
For a bit of the black stuff

“He’s a heavy ‘un Frank
Have they dressed him in gear?
Park as close as you can
So the Church steps are near
It’s the third one this week
To polish and squeak
What’s that on your cuff?
A bit of the black stuff?

“Sombrely now Frank
Remember his Mum
She picked the readings
The hymns, so play dumb
You’re used to these scenes
So allow for her screams
Searing tears aren’t enough
For a bit of the black stuff

“Lower away Frank
Our jobs nearly done
Forget the hard rain
Forget the pale sun
‘Cause we can’t hang about
And the tank’s nearly out
We’ve two more to buff
So fill up with the black stuff

“You make the tea Frank
I’ll turn on the box
Why you’ll never guess what
He’s sent home by the Scots
It’s a political move
That we'll never prove
It's just blind man’s bluff
For a bit of the black stuff

"Frank that African's nuts
On a Stalinist scale
What he doesn't kill
He locks up in jail
While his economy bleeds
He digs up the seeds
But he's safe enough
He's none of the black stuff

“Christ, Frank, what a dream!
The land was on fire
Had I buried myself
To the Devil’s own lyre?
As he plucked out a tune
I drunk from a lagoon
And spat out the guff
It was full of the black stuff

“I’m laying you off Frank
The planes aren’t so full
We’re using bed linen
There’s no wood to tool
Across each horizon
The lamps are going on
The cat's lying stuffed
With licking the black stuff

“The snows on its way Frank
I’ll leave you this note
If you find me please bury
Me deep and remote
In a millennium or two
If some make it through
And they quarry this trough
They can use me for black stuff”