death,or the avoidence

the icy hold over my world is imagined,the mist clouding my perception but not my path.i'm not hallucinating.just telling myself stories,weaving a deception,a denial.i'm not numb.not blank.not weeping.

its like having a person stood right in front of you,and staring to the side of them,doing all you can not to acknowledge them.not wanting to know what they want.but still.every now an then...

attempting to just not think about it,focus on the actuality.i do not tip toe,more.stride around it.confident in the strengh of my ability to bypass emotion.
for a little time at least.

let me pretend,not reminisce.not yet.breaking down holds no answers.no comfort.no return.what is,will remain to be.and i accept that.i might not accept it tomorrow.i know it will hit me,maybe when i dont expect it.

but for now..its cool.