Untouchable
By MistakenMagic
Tue, 12 Jan 2010
- 5586 reads
20 comments
What is a touch
but a simple collision of atoms?
Never meant much -
until your realisation
of how I felt;
you were my sun.
And so you kept your distance -
flung me into orbit.
Now I am trapped
in a dizzying ellipse,
constant track,
around you.
(This symmetry is art!)
The way a planet
never sways,
never brushes its star.
But I adapt,
don't let this bother me -
because, after all, what better
place to be
than bound together
as I feast on your
delicious, infective gravity.
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Comments
This is so beautiful Magic,
This is so beautiful Magic, I adore the space imagery! I love science so this was a hit for me.
The last lines are great. I think this is one of my favourite poem of yours, one of your best in my humble opinion. :-)
I love these lines;
"you were my sun."
"(This symmetry is art!)"
"And so you kept your distance -
flung me into orbit."
Beeme xx
k.
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Well, I'm certainly with
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Well, I'm certainly with Beeme on this one, Magic, certainly a 'fave' as far as I'm concerned; a difficult decision, because with you poetry one is always spoilt for choice;-)
"The way a planet
never sways,
never brushes its star."
For me, these are the lines that epitomise this excellent poem.
Tina xxx
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very beautiful, and for me
very beautiful, and for me an underlying sadness, but still made me smile,:~}
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excellent bit of poetry,
Permalink Submitted by Curse of 222 on
excellent bit of poetry, magic. powerful and complete even in it's shortness.
jason
jason
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My favorite lines, I share
Permalink Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
My favorite lines, I share with Tina. Just brilliant! It doesn't get much better than this, as far as I'm concerned and your right, when you say that shorts have more impact; they do but they need to be done well, as this most certainly is...class!
Chris ;) XXXX
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This is beautiful. Delicious
Permalink Submitted by vidit.chopra on
This is beautiful.
Delicious infective gravity!!
What a thought!
Simply superb.
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new mistakenMagic very
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
new mistakenMagic
very clever I like the Atoms and gravity
pieces very technical is that the word.
poem great.
julie x
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You have such a way with
Permalink Submitted by darkenwolf on
You have such a way with words; they seem to come so effortlessly to you. I have to practically pull my hair out to achieve a pale immitation of your talent - you make me jealous!
keep up the good work; its a joy to read.
;)
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no matter how hard you blow
Permalink Submitted by darkenwolf on
no matter how hard you blow on the tinder the spark has to be there in the first place before the fire will take.
;)
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thought I'd back track
Permalink Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
thought I'd back track through your work on this rainy Wednesday and I love that I've discovered this golden oldy. I particularly liked the ending: "as I feast on your delicious, infective gravity". The beginning made me think as well, the idea that a touch is just a physical movement but the mind adds weight to it.
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