You took my shining star!

Hi monodemo.

Always interesting to read poetry pieces. There are as many "ways" as there are poets writing in terms of style and message.

One thing I'd suggest is read it out loud to yourself, whether you intend to perform it or not. Or at least be aware of your inner voice when writing and reading it.

Does it sound right to you (do you like what you're hearing)?

Read lots and lots of poets. Get a feel for what you like. It'll feed into your writing style.

Some poets and critics talk about free verse in terms of its musicality. That needn't always be the case, but it's something to think about. Lyrical poetry should have metre and rhyme anyway, but musicality could just be flow and modulation - what makes it a good listen at a reading. Alternatively you simply say something that leaves a strong image in well controlled prose - prose poetry.

All these things can help with writing poetry. Your style is your style. It's a personal thing.

Hope this helps.

Some good internal rhyming. Would be a good performance piece.