untitled

Cherry

By Myndstorm

Wed, 26 Aug 2009
  • 1053 reads
5 comments
 

The sun refused its duty
pulling a comforter of grey
over its head, ignorant,
as the frustrated sky
filled up with tears.
Below, I sit and catch the drops
upon my tongue
the rain tasting of bittersweet yesterdays
And I half smile, recollecting

Certificate U
Poem
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Comments

Submitted by Ewan on
Loved the imagery. You might want to think about the punctuation. Or do not punctuate at all, which might work nicely with this poem. Regards Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by Beeme on
Hello Myndstorm, this is such a beautiful poem, and I too loved the imagery. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by sunshine on
Yes, lovely imagery - last few lines are pearls. Margot

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Excellent; nothing wasted, a really good short with superb imagery. Well done! Chris ;)

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Quiet, lovely. Like the image of the Sun as a sluggard, memorable :-) atb Lena