The 7N Bus, Part 2 of 2

Part 2 of 2

Read Part 1 here: http://www.abctales.com/story/nexis-pas/7n-bus-part-1-2

A few weeks later, on a Friday, I joined the bus queue just after Adam and Seth. Seth was standing off to the side holding a small canvas bag. There was a psychical as well as physical separation between him and Adam. He sounded rather defensive when he spoke. ‘I’ll be back on Sunday evening, Monday morning at the latest.’

‘I don’t see why you have to go.’ Adam was aggrieved.

‘We’ve been over this before. Gavin and I made the plans and bought the tickets months ago. Before we met. This is the only concert the Vads are giving in England this year. I know you don’t like that kind of music or I would have tried to get you a ticket.’

‘You could have asked, instead of just telling me this morning that you were off for the weekend. I would have gone with you.’ Both of them were trying to keep their voices down, but the odd word here and there escaped their attempts to control their emotions.

Seth looked around, trying to avoid Adam’s angry looks. He suddenly brightened and waved at someone. ‘There’s Gavin. I’ll be going then. I’ll see you on Sunday.’ He glanced briefly in Adam’s direction and then rushed away toward the entrance to the train station.

Adam turned away, refusing to watch Seth leave. He faced forward, looking toward the head of the bus queue. His shoulders rose in a sigh and then slumped. When we got on the bus, he took his usual seat in front of me. The entire time he rode the bus, he kept his face cast downward, refusing to look up. When he stood up to get off, he hurried down the aisle, brushing past those who were slow to stand up from their seats. Once he got off the bus, he walked rapidly away, carefully looking straight ahead and refusing to see anyone.

I sat there wondering if I should have said something. I realised then that I had grown to feel rather proprietarial about their relationship. Which was wrong, of course. It wasn’t my relationship and I had no right to imply that I could offer any useful advice. Perhaps they reminded me too much of Richard and myself. And what would I have told Adam? ‘One argument isn’t the end. He’ll be back. Everybody needs a little space apart from the relationship.’ Useless platitudes when you have a grievance. It’s easy to be sane and logical and wise about others. Far more difficult to be rational when you’re one of the parties involved. The first time Richard and I had a fight over something he wanted to do by himself with a friend of his, I nursed that grievance for weeks. The last thing I would have wanted was for a well-meaning stranger even to notice that my lover had walked off to spend a weekend with someone else. It would have made matters worse to have to accept consolation and sympathy from someone I didn’t know and who happened to feel sorry for me. If I had been Adam and found someone sitting behind me on a bus offering advice, I probably would have expressed my feelings in the vernacular—although it might have relieved his feelings to have been able to tell someone to fuck off.

God, I was furious with Richard that time. One morning as we were getting dressed for work, he casually let slip that he wouldn’t be around for a while because he and his mate Len were off to Amsterdam. I was too stunned to speak at first, but I quickly found my voice. We had a major row, and it ended with Richard throwing his things into a bag and rushing off to meet Len. I was so mad I called in sick to work and spent the day raging around the flat. I couldn’t think of anything but Richard’s ‘desertion’. It didn’t help to get a postcard three days later from Amsterdam with the bald message ‘I’ll be back on Saturday.’ I tore it in two and tossed it in the bin, only to pull it out and then shred it into confetti.

When Richard returned, he was greeted with silence. He tiptoed around unpacking his things and then sat down opposite me. His first words other than hello were ‘Don’t worry. I took precautions. I’m not bringing any diseases home.’ That, of course, was precisely the wrong thing to say. The knowledge that he had not only taken off without me but been having sex with others infuriated me and set me on a monumental rant. By the time we had finished that argument, it was apparent to both of us that we had very different ideas of what fidelity meant. I had more traditional notions. For Richard, it simply meant that I was the person he came home to at the end of the day.

So what could I tell Adam that would have been of any use to him, even if I had known him well enough to offer advice? My own experience hardly boded well as an example.

Seth didn’t reappear until Tuesday. He and Adam boarded at the train station. Seth looked a bit hung-over, but that may have just been my imagination and conjectures about how he had spent the weekend and why he hadn’t been there on Monday. Adam and he were being careful with each other. They rode most of the way in silence. Seth’s attempt to start a conversation about the football games on television that weekend was met with a dismissive ‘I didn’t have time to watch them’ from Adam.

As the bus neared Lewiston Place, Seth asked, ‘Want to meet for lunch then?’

Adam shrugged, ‘Sure.’

‘Usual place.’

‘Yeah, it’s as good as any.’

‘My treat. I’ll even buy you an ice cream after. Chocolate with chocolate syrup and chocolate chips on top.’ Seth nudged up against Adam and smiled uncertainly.

‘A double scoop?’

‘Triple, if you want.’

‘You’d have to help me eat that.’

‘Can I share your spoon?’

Adam finally smiled. ‘More than that if you like.’

‘I like.’

‘All right then.’ Adam smiled again, but he looked a bit sad. The argument was over but not to his satisfaction, I think.

For the next month or so, matters between the two of them seemed to have regained their previous state. At least as far as I could judge from seeing them for fifteen minutes each weekday morning on the bus, they enjoyed each other’s company and spent as much time as they could together. Seth seemed to be making an effort to interest Adam in his recreations and not take Adam’s participation or nonparticipation in them for granted. A great many discussions revolved around which music groups were playing that weekend and whether they should go hear them or go to a club or a football match. I wasn’t familiar with the names of the groups they mentioned and it was impossible for me to follow their discussions of the relative merits of various bands, but they appeared to have developed a playful disagreement about each other’s taste in music. They only singer whose name I recognised was one that Seth dismissed with a scornful scatological monosyllable. Adam nodded in agreement and said that the most popular singer of my generation was ‘a favourite of me mum’. About some matters musical they were in total agreement.

I didn’t realise how much interest I was taking in their relationship until Richard came for one of his weekend visits. He drops by a few times each year. He rings early in the week and asks if I’m free the next weekend and if he can stay over on Saturday. He knows, of course, that I am always free on the weekend, but he’s polite enough to pretend that I might be busy. That particular weekend Richard came alone—the current boyfriend was attending a wedding—which may have been why I felt free to talk about Adam and Seth. It struck home to me how much I was talking about them when Richard began nodding his head impatiently. He obviously found Adam and Seth and my adventures on the bus less than enthralling. When I saw that the subject bored him, I moved on to other matters. Richard seemed to be in the last stages of his relationship with the wedding guest, and he wanted to gripe about it. I’ve lost track of how many semi-permanent boyfriends he has had. I wonder if he keeps up with his other exes in the same way he does with me. As I sat there commiserating with him about his current problems, I amused myself by imagining Richard travelling about the country, each weekend visiting a different ex. There were enough of us that he wouldn’t have to make a repeat visit for four or five months.

At the end of the evening, when Richard had exhausted the subject of his current affair, he asked the ritual question he always asks, ‘Are you dating anyone?’

I was still envisioning Richard visiting each of his former boyfriends in turn and rather than give my usual ‘No, no one’, I asked, ‘Do you ever see Geoff Whittaker?’

‘Who?’ Richard was baffled by the query.

‘Geoff Whittaker—my successor as the boyfriend of the moment.’

‘Good lord, was that his name? I’ve totally forgotten. I wonder what happened to him. Are you sure that was his name? It doesn’t sound right. Why are you bringing him up? You’re not still angry about my misdemeanours, are you?’ He grinned at me in what he obviously intended to be a sheepish admission of the impossibility of my being upset about his truancies.

‘No, I’m not angry.’ And then I changed the subject. I don’t know why Richard keeps coming back. I don’t know why I let him. The next time he calls, I should tell him that I won’t be free that weekend. Or perhaps I should get caller ID and just not answer when he rings. How many times would I have to refuse one of his invitations to visit me before he stopped calling? Richard is always the one to propose a meeting. I can’t recall ever ringing him and inviting him to visit. But I’ve never refused his request for a talk and weekend’s lodging. The first visit came after his break-up with Geoff. Since then, he has visited two or three times a year, often in connection with problems with his current relationship. The two of us seem reluctant to let go of what was the first love for each of us, well, the first love for Richard, the only love for me. Our furious parting has evolved into an amicable split, and we have become acquaintances with a certain history and a certain understanding of each other. Perhaps I find comfort in Richard’s gossip about his current inamorato’s shortcomings. Perhaps he finds comfort in my post-Richard lack of desire for another relationship. I didn’t mention Adam and Seth again that weekend. Richard drove off late Sunday afternoon, for what I was certain would be a heart-to-heart talk with whatever his name was.

A week or so later, Seth suddenly stopped in the middle of something he was saying to Adam and pulled his mobile phone from his pocket. ‘It’s Gavin,’ he announced to Adam. ‘Maybe he got the tickets.’ Seth chattered happily with the person on the phone. His conversation was punctuated by joyous cries of ‘great’ and ‘terrific’. When he hung up, he turned to Adam and said, ‘Gavin got us tickets for the fourth and fifth both. We’ll be able to get close to the bands.’

‘Where are we going to stay the night of the fourth? We can’t afford a hotel after what these tickets are costing us.’ Adam sounded less enthusiastic about what appeared to be tickets to one of the summer music festivals.

‘Gavin’s friends will put us up. I stayed there last year. We’ll take some beer, and I’ll get some . . .’ Seth must have thought he was speaking too loudly because he dropped his voice and whispered something to Adam.

Adam whispered back to Seth. He didn’t look happy, and he glanced around to see if anyone was watching the two of them. Luckily I had enough time to shift my gaze back to the newspaper I was holding and had the presence of mind to pretend a rapt interest in the story I wasn’t reading.

Seth’s next comments were audible, at least to someone as close to the two of them as I was. ‘Oh, loosen up. Have some fun once in a while. It doesn’t hurt anyone. The police don’t even care about “recreational use” any more. Half of them probably smoke it too.’

‘What’s this place like? Gavin’s friends’ place.’

Seth reverted to whispering. I did hear the comment ‘mattresses on the floor’ and I think I heard the word ‘orgy’. Seth was quite enthusiastic about staying at this place. Adam looked sceptical. They were still discussing the matter when they left the bus.

For several days thereafter, Seth spent most of the bus ride talking on his mobile, making plans with his friend. Occasionally he would turn to Adam and consult with him about a proposed arrangement, but he didn’t otherwise seem to have much to say to Adam. On the eleventh, Adam mumbled something in response to a question from Seth. ‘Hold on a minute. I’ll call you back.’ Seth snapped the phone shut and turned to Adam. ‘What do you mean go without you?’

‘Just what I said. I’m not going.’

‘God, you are such a wanker. After all the trouble Gavin went to get these tickets and now you decide not to go. Well, I’m going whether you do or not. And don’t even think about asking for the money for the tickets back.’

‘Take somebody else then. Or sell them. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone who wants them.’

‘Nah, it won’t be any trouble at all replacing you.’ Seth opened his phone and called his mate back. In an exaggeratedly clear voice, he carefully explained that ‘the fucking bitch has decided not to go’. Everybody on the bus could hear him. Adam’s face turned red and he turned away and looked out the window. When we go to their stop, Seth stood up and casually walked down the aisle without looking back. He flounced off the bus and walked away, still talking into his phone. Adam sat there without moving. The bus driver glanced back over her shoulder and tried to catch his eye. When Adam realised that the bus wasn’t leaving, he looked up and then shook his head no when the driver tilted her head toward the still open door. The driver closed the doors and drove on. Adam was still sitting there, rigid and angry when I got off.

The next morning was the second. Seth boarded at Kensington Street. Adam wasn’t there. I knew from the conversations I had overheard that Seth and his friend were travelling to the concert on the third. Adam rode the bus alone the next day. The fourth and fifth were the weekend. The next week Adam was waiting for the bus on Monday. When we got to Kensington Street, he kept his head down. Seth got on and took a seat a few rows behind me. He pulled out his phone and began chatting loudly with someone about the great time he had had over the weekend. Adam never stirred or gave any indication that he could hear Seth talking. That was the last time Adam took the 5:40 bus.

Seth still catches the bus most mornings. He has a new boyfriend now. The two of them seem to get on well. I’ve never seen Adam again. Perhaps he found a job elsewhere or maybe he takes a later bus.